Having been some time in deliberation, perhaps 'no longer being a whiny c**t' is not a good way to end a journal such as this. I also find that, perhaps, there isn't that much more to say rather than a reminder to myself and any who never will read this that things always have a way of working themselves out. She no longer persists as a ghost constantly haunting me, and in being gone now from this site as well, she is simply a stranger, one whom I happen to share a past with; a brief encounter, one that gets less and less meaningful as I ripen and mature.
I guess, in the end, the biggest thing to point out is that I always thought I was mature. from years ago, I knew I was precocious, but I always figured I'd reached a peak. That there was no childishness to me at all, and that I was an adult pure and simple.
I now fully understand what I child I was and still am. Or, if not fully, better understand it. I might be emotionally stunted, a little, in that now I act like a little kid with my frequent good moods, but I'm not so inclined to believe that that's a bad thing anymore.
I'm happy.
And I really, truly am.
I might not always have this nirvana, of course, and it'll probably be some girl that brings me out of it.
And I'll regain it.
With friends like I have, with a heart like I have, and a world all around me like this, it will always get better.
I really and truly believe this.
I love the world, and my friends, and all the things in the past. I forgive all the mistakes of the past, and, in fact, still love that the good times I had were had. If I ever end up like that again, I hope I'll remember this bygone journal on a bygone site that has had very large parts of my life for a long time.
The future has no limits.