I feel so much more lost than I've ever been before. I just want to evaporate into thin air. My head feels fuzzy when I think about it all... like I'm recalling distant, lost memories that I can't comprehend, and the hollowness opens up in my chest and threatens to consume me whole. I can stand outside in the cold night air and stare up at the moon, but this time I won't find any answers to ease me. I'm fine-tuned to the whispers but all I get is the low hum of reality's border. I pray to make it through this all in one piece. If I'm lost now... I don't know how I'll be able to climb back up. The slope is too steep, but unless there's something waiting for me at the bottom, I can't...

Please, can't anyone tell me why I feel this way. I need help. I just want to soothe away this heartache. Somehow, I know it was all going to come to this. All the dots connect, but they form a picture I can't understand. If I can grasp a bit of its inkling... then why? The logical side of me is protesting. It can't be true... so then why do I feel like it is? I'm too far away. The ground I'm standing on is tenuous. If I fall back, you won't be there to catch me. That's the problem, isn't it?