Yes, I do. More so in words than in actions. And more specifically, I regret not saying anything. I've lived my life staying quiet the whole time.
Always smiling, never crying.
I never expressed my opinion because growing up, I learned it was wrong to do so. I know better. I was also afraid. When I was in elementary, I was surrounded by bullies who proclaim to be my "friends." I never thought wrong of them. In the back of my head, I know they hated me. They forced their opinions on me. When they ask for my opinion or answer, they give me the glare that says, " I don't really want your opinion, just support mine." I was scared I would lose that person as my friend so I do as they say.
As I move away from those people, I grew my own person. I still don't express my opinions, but I had a sense of who is a friend and who is not. It was a dynamic character development for me. I started from a generous and quiet kid to a selfish, loud, and a violent one. I was a bully.
I'm not exactly sure where my violent side came from. The friends I had were loyal and always supported me. My family was strict, but never used violence. I could only guess that it was just pent up frustration from when I was a child. I also learned as a child that I am not allowed to get angry. Sadly, to this day, I bring that with me.
To this day, I try to communicate my opinion to others. I learned that there are some that should be kept to yourself and some that need to be said. It's what keeps my relationship with other people strong. There is a proper way of expressing your words along with your timing and tone of voice. Should I say it firmly or gently? Seriously or jokingly? Out of the many times I stayed quiet, I really do regret not standing up for myself against them.
And it disappoints me that I find myself loathing those people that has done me wrong. Good night.
NicoNico_Fei Community Member 
|
|
