Growing up was hard for me. My parents split when I was pretty young. My father couldn't really seem to be single for too much longer. It wasn't much longer till he got a girlfriend. They broke up but, it didn't take to much longer for him to find a new one. His, now ex girlfriend, had a baby. A little girl. Sadly, I haven't seen her for eight years. She's ten now. I always wanted to get to know her, but I don't think my dad ever did..
Later on, he got married. She wasn't the kindest woman. She was jealous that my dad loved me more than her. She actually took me to get a trim and told the hair dresser to chop off all my hair. When i went over there, I felt like a stranger in my own home. I often found myself sitting in the closet under my step brothers clothes, hiding from my fears, life. They divorced when I was ten. It was one of the greats feelings, to be safe.
I was happy after a while. Some counseling, getting my dad back. Becoming his best friend again. He had married a crazy woman, but that didn't matter. Not too long after, he got another wife. She was mean from the start. She constantly yelled at her kids and my dad. I hated her from the first time she screwed my dad over. The fighting got worse and finally, I moved out. I was done. Sophomore in high school, I could decide where I wanted to stay. I lived with my mom for the rest of my sophomore year and most of my Junior year. The b*tch finally moved out, all was well again.
I'm guessing you can see a pattern here, can't you? I think my dad fears loneliness. What else can explain the twenty girls he's dated? Well, my dad has a new girlfriend, or should I say fiance. There's nothing wrong with this one, I just miss my dad. I miss getting to spend days with him, just him and me, without talking about her. Just hanging out around the house without him ditching me. I just miss him. I think that's why I refused to enjoy this one for so long. I miss him, I know that, but he doesn't understand. He probably never will.
Well, the whole point of this journal entry was because, I'm nervous. She wants a kid. It's really obvious that my dad doesn't want one, but she does. So he's doing it. I'm nervous that he's going to marry her and their gonna have a kid. He's going to start spending less and less time together. Sooner or later, I'm not going to be "Daddy's little girl" anymore. I guess that's why I'm nervous. Nervous that someone is going to take my place...
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