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My birthday this year was a ******** mess.
I know that I largely didn't know what I wanted to do this year, but I did know that I wanted to spend it with Rob and I wanted to get out of the city. I was also toying with the idea of slowly introducing Rob in with the family....similar to how he has already met everyone important to me....by chance or circumstance.
But low and behold....Rob fuks that up.
I ended up getting us a reservation at the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center at the National Harbor. I thought it'd be nice to stay at a beautiful location and hang out by the water and just spend some quality time together. The night before on that Friday, Rob decided to take me out. We went to hang out with Uncle Vick, but before we even got down to Chester, Rob let me know that he couldn't be out all night since he had class the next morning. Cool.
So we're at the bar, Uncle Vick's acting weird....extra lovey, kind of supportive in the way he told me to call him anytime he needed anything., but definitely weird when he would say that he knew about "all my boyfriends" and that Rob tells him everything....and asking if I seen anyone I liked in there. To be honest, a lot of the exchanges kind of had me feeling a bit off...like what was Rob telling him....and is he still demonizing me to his friends?
Come to later find out that for a good portion of the night, he thought I was Elijah, which I guess is why he was introducing me as Rob's son....which I found also weird. Tbh, me and Elijah really don't look alike...at all. So....how he mixed that up...I just don't know.
Antiways....Rob was looking like he was ready to go anyway. I was texting Ryan and Brolin while at the bar. Ryan was telling me that he was at a dinner party in South Philadelphia. I told him I was in Chester and that I'd hit him up when I got back so that we could go out. The night was still young at the point and it looked like Rob wanted to go home. Rob asked who I was texting and I told him I was texting multiple people. He later asked a similar question and I told him that Ryan and I were going to go out for a bit later that night. Totes didn't think it would be a big deal since he had to get in bed anyway....but of course...nothing is as easy as it seems.
Rob pretty much rushed Uncle Vick and I out the bar and tok us both home. I made up my mind that I wanted to discuss solme of Uncle Vick's words that night but....Rob didn't even want to talk. I turned the music down for us to discuss and he turned it right back up, said he needed it to "stay awake" and said we'd talk when we got home. Well, he pulled up in front of my house, rushed me out the car, yelled at me when I tried to speak with him, and sped off as soon as I got my bag out of the trunk! burning_eyes
Can I tell you that at that point I was so ******** fed up with him. burning_eyes Sick of the attitudes, sick of him shutting me out, sick of the same old s**t happening everytime when I didn't even DO anything! I cried when I got to my room and passed out...didn't even go out with Ryan. Apparently Rob made more plans to go out that night, but later found out that he didn't go.
Next morning, I call him and he decides that he has stuff to do and will not accompany me to the DMV. Over it. I cnacelled the reservation and spent the rest of the day/night telling him how fuked up he is. Apparently I was so extremely disrespectful since I was making other plans while I was out with him...making i seems like I put someone before him, like he's not a priority...etc etc.
Like...honestly....he is ******** crazy. For starters, it's MY birthday. People are going to want to hang out with ME! I'm going to want to hang out too...if you already declared that you have to be in early...why NOT make other plans with a friend that is in town?!
I really can't even know what to say when it comes to his stupidity. At this point I just want him to admit and apologize to a) cutting our night short because he was mad b) ruining my birthday out of spite and c) to being wrong about the whole situation. Rob still likes to fabricate events so in HIS mind I made everyone leave so I could go hang with Ryan when none of that happened. He got mad, rushed everyone out under the guise of "We gotta get Ryo home". I hate when he does this. I hate when he fights me. And everytime we have a scuffle he's ready to call it quits. He had the nerve to question MY loyalty saying it's more than not fuking with someone else. WTF. As I told him, HIS loyalty is in question since everytime I do something he doesn't like he's ready to skate out the door. Ridiculous.
I'd actually rather not waste anymore time talking about my failed birthday. In all honesty, I saved $200 that I was going to spend on that hotel room and I can pay my rent and buy my passport now so it wasn't all bad. I'm kind of just being extra dramatic because I'm tired of Rob doing this to me, and it was insanely selfish of him as well.
He says that he feels that I get different or whatever around my friends and "wanted me to have a great time and birthday with them" and a whole lot of bullshit. Just over it.
The problems with HIM, moreso than me, are way to deep and far too ingrained. The way that he can hear one thing, interpret it to mean the opposite, then use his interpretation (that has nothing to do with what actually happened) to argue his point and convince him that he is always right and I am always wrong is absolutely insane. And he just does not get it. Still....
Long story short, I spent the day texting Rob, feeling shitty, and watching anime. Literally the worst birthday ever. If I wasn't over birthdays already....I definitely am now. I thought about salvaging the pieces by going home and staying with Marlon, but I know I didn't feel like making that drive or paying for gas...not by myself anyway. Especially since I was just down there last weekend.....and a part of me really didn't want to sulk in solitude to show Rob that he really did f** up.
I am grateful for God to see another year, and I pray that he allows me to see another HEALTHY year and that next year's birthday will be something to remember 3nodding
Amen! wink
Mood: Eh... whee Music: "Try Me" - Tamar Braxton from Tamar
Ryonosuke · Tue Sep 24, 2013 @ 10:22am · 0 Comments |
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