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Where I come from isn't all that great.
My social skills are a piece of crap.
My attempt at peace is a little whack.
And my friends don't know a thing.
I didn't go to college.
The pretty girl didn't want me.
Why should she?
I ain't nobody.
Don't enjoy spending the money in my pocket.
Heh..

Down to you.
You're pushing and pulling me down to you.
I don't know what I want.
Ughh..
I do, but like..hmm..
How to put the words.
Everything I've ever said.
I can't top myself.
It's too great a feat.
Where do I go from here.
I should go to a gun shop.
I haven't talked to I guess what would've been my new girlfriend.
Everyday that goes by I keep thinking things will change.
What a drag.
I know they probably won't.
I can't say I've accepted it.
I also can't say I've tried much to try and change it lately.
What am I even saying at this point?
When I caught myself, I had to stop myself.
From saying something I should have never though.
Now I know what I want.
I want.
I want.
Oh no I should have never thought..
Heh..

Nobody's fault but mine.
Trying to hold out tonight.
It's nobody's fault but mine.
The lust told me to roll.
How to roll the log tonight.
It's nobody's fault but mine.
Heh...

What can I say to change the mind of someone so stubborn?
This question plagues me.
Many questions seem to these days.
Maybe it's more the answers than the questions.
It might be funny to some how I seem to go in a circle.
A dog chasing his tail.
Hoping that just maybe I'll get a bone.
Did that make sense?
Probably not.
I tend to do that.
Maybe one day someone will understand this none sense.
Well I like to think some one has hopefully.
I guess I wouldn't really know.
I can't read people very well.
Maybe it's the exhaustion.
I'm pushing myself too hard.
I'm supposed to stop running.
I do it still.
Maybe my kidneys will explode.
Maybe I'll collapse.
If I can not for my life, then who would?
If I join the Marines it isn't even for me.
I could give less of a s**t.
It's just in case I get lucky and settle down.
At the rate I'm going I just might not make it.
Did you know that 5% of the world's population dies yearly from dehydration?
We are the 5%.
Lol..
The world is lazy.
But you and me we're just crazy.
So when I'm with you I have fun.
Yeah when I'm with you I have fun.
Ever since I was a little boy
My momma always told me there would be girls like you.
So when I'm with you I have fun.
I hate sleeping alone.
I hate being awake alone.
Alone.
Alone.
Heh...

Where was I.
Damn songs invading my mind.
Well not so much..
More like honored guests.
Diplomats?
Umm.
I'm hungry.
I haven't eaten.
I'm pretty thirsty as well.
I do know what I want to drink.
Heh...
Show me how to live like a normal person.
I'll do my best to pretend.
Acting becomes best when it becomes reality.
I don't know.
I'm tired.
Excuses excuses excuses.
What's going on with this internal pain.
As much as I hope something happens, I don't wanna go to the hospital.
My lips are dry.
Maybe I should drink water.
Naaaaahhh.
I got strawberry chapstick.
It's fantastic.
I was going to get peach, but ehh.
Where was I..
Uhhhhh.
Ravings
Raving.
Raiding.
Rad.
Ra.
rrrrrrrrrr.r
it's on the tip of my tongue.
heh..heh...heh..
Swollen with liquid ready to burst..
I don't know..
Ummm.
Is this too long?
Who am I talking to?
There's no one there.
No more therapy.
I'm all alone up here now.
Except for my lovely guests.

I've got to return some videotapes...
Heh...

I've got no nails..
I haven't had them for so long.
So many painkillers though.
Why..do I still feel pain?
Hmmm.
I'm such a sissy sometimes.
Cold on the outside, warm and fuzzy on the inside.
There's something else there too I guess.
I don't know what.
I made it.
A long time ago.
When I thought, well..
Point being I don't know how to deal with it.
Well, I never told anyone.
It'd be an interesting conversation starter I guess.
It rhymes with eatings.
It's very painful.
It leaves scars of all kinds.
Several people watched.
I was all alone.
Oh dad...how I miss bonding.
Hmmm.
Well, I guess that's a lie.
I've gotten good at those.
I don't really like it.
"Have you been taking your medication?"
"Yes."
Well it's not a total lie right?
"Have you been making sure to rest when your heart beats quickly?"
"Yes."
Ain't nobody got time for that.
"Have you been making sure to consume a lot of sugars?"
"Yes, I eat a ton doc."
Does gum, my stubs, and the insides of my cheeks count?
"Make sure to drink lots of water."
"Yeah okay."
Well I lick my sweat sometimes.. it's salty > >
I'm probably pushing my heart and kidneys too far.
Too many painkillers.
Too much exercise.
My legs are harder than ever though I guess.
I can run two miles without getting super tired.
Ehhhh.
Why did I make this?
Who..wait..hmm..yes..actually..
I might have stumbled upon something that would make her smile.
Or maybe not.
I don't know.
My mind is blanking again.
I'm thinking too hard.


"She is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than an individual. I love her, and I must make her love me. I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain."



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
It's really cold.
Is it the music of my mind or soul?
I have no soul.
HA!
okay.
I'm done.
The sun should be rising soon.
Maybe I'll run around for a few hours.
The run to buy GTA V
Nahhh.. Idk..
Life.
To embrace love is to embrace tragedy.