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Dude, just stuff. No one reads this.</3
I know I'm stupid and dumb and idiotic but that doesn't mean you can throw me around and act like it's okay. I know I left you years ago and you've given me multiple chances and you've left me several different times and I've given you multiple chances and finally we're in a wonderful place. We're friends, we hangout, we love each other like brother and sister or best friends or maybe even as lovers but that's where I have a problem. Which one is it? How do I know if you really like me or if you're using me to have something to do or if you even like me at all. The fact that I can't know what you're thinking when you're with me or when you haven't seen me in a couple of days literally drives me insane. Please, please lord just show me a sign. There's times where I say 'There's No way in hell he doesn't still have a thing for me. He's still here isn't he?' But then you always seem to make it a point that, boy are you single and you just LOVE flirting with other girls. Maybe it's jealously, maybe it's not. But I sure wouldn't tell another girl that 'i couldn't wait to kiss her' if I liked someone else. So where do we go from here? I'm stuck in this position where I know you know, but I don't know what to think and don't know if you truly understand that all I do is for you and all I think about is seeing your face and smelling your strong cologne and eating the food you cook. You don't know how much it really hurts to wake up everyday and know that those 50 things you wrote 3 years ago about me, might not be true anymore. None of them.... Maybe you don't see it and maybe you're truly just that oblivious to it all but maybe you aren't and you think and see all this different stuff and just force yourself to forget about it because you know you don't feel the same. I just wish you would say what you feel instead of leading me on and keeping me guessing.

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