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This is a place to let the monsters talk. Read the first post if you wish.About Me. is probably the best place to start with this whole journal.

WARNING: This journal contains explicit content. Do not read if you are sensitive to self harm, drug use or sexual activity.

FOR GAIA STAFF: I do not, in any way, promote self harm, drug use or sexual activity. In no way am I trying to violate the ToS.
Depression Log Two.
Today is not such a bad day. I've been with my boyfriend at his house for the past two days rather than my own, but still the feeling lingers.

Sure, waking up next to my sleeping ginger is enough to put the light back into my eyes, but I can't help thinking about home and how much I don't want to be there. I'm going back tonight and I really don't want to. I don't want to go home...

Also, I've been thinking about how much I don't want to go back to high school. I know it's my last year and I should just stick it out, but I really just want to spread my wings and fly away. I feel like an eagle in a cage full of ducklings in this town. I feel I can do so much more. I'm only planning on going to a community college for two years and getting my associate's in business and management, but that's enough for me. It seems like a reachable goal. And I want to reach it now.

I've also been thinking about a drug a lot today. I have so many ways to get it and I've heard that sex is pretty damn good when you're high. Also, Adam and I have said hat the first time we get high, we will be together. But what if he wants to do it in college? I want him to just do what he wants to do. I know it's a serious thought, but I have thought about it and honestly, it's not like we're talking about heroin here. It's a plant that grows on God's green earth and it's a shame that it's illegal while there are cigarettes and alcohol that can do so much worse.

It's not like I'm planning on being a hardcore user. It's just something I want to try. Because why the hell not? I'll only be young once and this is the only "drug" I plan on using besides the occasional glass of wine with dinner. I don't plan on partying and getting hella drunk because that's just gross and cigarettes destroy your insides. Plus, with all the nicotine in there, it seems like I'd be stuck in a death trap. A very slow death trap.

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