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My thought's and feeling's.( Is it just me or does that sound really gay?! )
Journal Entry #98
Sometimes its just good to get down your feelings. Right now I have a lot of them

Ive been here about a month and two weeks. I have yet to make any friends, so all I have now are my cousins. It was great at first. Just workin out and havin fun. Now, it's different.
I'm getting ready to move into my uncles house next week. I just got done painting and put a bed in with some shelves. Recently, Britny has been meeting up with some guys from Plenty of Fish, a dating website. I think thats great, and she deserves someone.
A couple days ago I took Micah to this guys house that I was meeting for the first time. I didn't think anything weird was gonna happen. As soon as we walk through that door there's a girl. I already knew Micah was gonna go for her, and it bothers me. Why can't I just have someone there for me as protection. I don't mean to hook him up with girls every time I wanna go out and do something.

Today, I went and finished my room in my Uncles house, I hung out with Matthew and his gf. Britny told me she was gonna come by and hang with us and that Micah and his "New Girlfriend" were at Misty's house... I said "As long as he doesn't bring her here to Rays house, Im fine... and they better not ******** on my bed, cuz right now thats the only place have to sleep."
Well he brings her over to Rays house and now there's one more couple in the house that I have to deal with.
I eventually became depressed that I didnt have anyone there for me. No friends, not a boyfriend, no anybody. Now, Ray had Angel, Britny had Greg, Micah has Britny, and Matthew has Casey... and where am I? Alone, in my not-so-completed room that has no door, feeling terrible about myself.
Maybe if I had someone too, even just a friend to go to in a situation like that, I might not be so unhappy.
Right now, I only have Micah. I already felt kinda left out when Kris was here, and he'll be back on the 27th. It was nice that Micah didnt have anyone but me around for a couple days... but now there's Britny. I wish he'd at least gimme a week to get out before flaunting his new meat at everyone.

Misty says that maybe I should use this oppotunity to make some girl friends. Why would I wanna do that? I already know that it isn't going to last, so why should I put in effort to get to know someone that is gonna be gone soon anyways.

Im really depressed. I just want some friends... someone who will care about me too. I feel so alone, I have been for a while now.

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