I could not be more angry at myself, I think.
For that I have only myself to blame.
Around every corner is a new mistake for me to make,
And it all just sounds the same.
It's funny when others blame themselves
When really it's all my fault.
My mind conceives new atrocities
And my heart can't stand the assault.
I have friends, it's true, there is no doubt,
But what can I say?
I most certainly don't deserve their love.
To me, it's like it wastes away.
I subconsciously push them away from me,
But is it really unintended?
My mind and heart battle over this as well,
About the thing I've surely dreaded.
That I'll one day purchase my doom:
A One-Way Ticket to Nowhere.
And the proverbial Train will carry me forever on,
Leaving me Alone, all Alone.... Where no one can care.
Perhaps I've overreacted a bit.
People say "Carry On, You'll be fine.
I understand what you're going through,
What pain is yours, is mine."
But the one thing I haven't said yet,
At least I don't believe...
Is that I don't want to move on and forget
These memories.
I used to think I had no emotion,
A heart as cold as stone.
A face that only a mother could love
And a dark corner as my home.
But you convinced me otherwise
My Beautiful Flame Princess.
When I called out to you for love,
You said, "I'll save you your distress."
But now you've left me to my Hell,
A thing of my own undoing.
To frolic, have fun without a care,
And cause others to go swooning.
Now I sit back in my corner
A feral animal snapping at all who try to comfort.
Picking up the shattered pieces of my heart
And understanding the phrase Love Hurts.
But I hold on to one shining thought
Amid the storm cloud called Depression.
A promise I made to you, my love.
Perhaps more of a confession.
When you said that it was over
But you still loved me with all your heart,
I told you I would wait for you,
That we would never be truly apart.
That was a long time ago
And only now do I see my error
For I never go back on a promise,
But at night, this is my Terror:
I have seen the way you are and act
Like I am not more that the past.
You have left me behind in more ways than one
And I shall not be your last.
As I write this out today
And shed yet another tear
I wish you could see these words
Before it has been 4 years.
I understand something now
That my promise was made in vain.
You will never love me again
And the thought gives me great pain.
But there is something good to come
Of this there is no doubt.
You will find your one true love
The one you have sought out.
I may stay alone for eternity
Or rot away while I wait for naught,
But imagining my Princess happily ever after
I can't help but smile at the thought.
Can you see? Do you know?
Have you finally understood?
I gladly sacrifice myself
For the Greater Good.
So while I stand in line today
For my One-Way Ticket to Nowhere
I see your laughing, shining face,
And I smile into thin air.
"One Ticket, please."
For that I have only myself to blame.
Around every corner is a new mistake for me to make,
And it all just sounds the same.
It's funny when others blame themselves
When really it's all my fault.
My mind conceives new atrocities
And my heart can't stand the assault.
I have friends, it's true, there is no doubt,
But what can I say?
I most certainly don't deserve their love.
To me, it's like it wastes away.
I subconsciously push them away from me,
But is it really unintended?
My mind and heart battle over this as well,
About the thing I've surely dreaded.
That I'll one day purchase my doom:
A One-Way Ticket to Nowhere.
And the proverbial Train will carry me forever on,
Leaving me Alone, all Alone.... Where no one can care.
Perhaps I've overreacted a bit.
People say "Carry On, You'll be fine.
I understand what you're going through,
What pain is yours, is mine."
But the one thing I haven't said yet,
At least I don't believe...
Is that I don't want to move on and forget
These memories.
I used to think I had no emotion,
A heart as cold as stone.
A face that only a mother could love
And a dark corner as my home.
But you convinced me otherwise
My Beautiful Flame Princess.
When I called out to you for love,
You said, "I'll save you your distress."
But now you've left me to my Hell,
A thing of my own undoing.
To frolic, have fun without a care,
And cause others to go swooning.
Now I sit back in my corner
A feral animal snapping at all who try to comfort.
Picking up the shattered pieces of my heart
And understanding the phrase Love Hurts.
But I hold on to one shining thought
Amid the storm cloud called Depression.
A promise I made to you, my love.
Perhaps more of a confession.
When you said that it was over
But you still loved me with all your heart,
I told you I would wait for you,
That we would never be truly apart.
That was a long time ago
And only now do I see my error
For I never go back on a promise,
But at night, this is my Terror:
I have seen the way you are and act
Like I am not more that the past.
You have left me behind in more ways than one
And I shall not be your last.
As I write this out today
And shed yet another tear
I wish you could see these words
Before it has been 4 years.
I understand something now
That my promise was made in vain.
You will never love me again
And the thought gives me great pain.
But there is something good to come
Of this there is no doubt.
You will find your one true love
The one you have sought out.
I may stay alone for eternity
Or rot away while I wait for naught,
But imagining my Princess happily ever after
I can't help but smile at the thought.
Can you see? Do you know?
Have you finally understood?
I gladly sacrifice myself
For the Greater Good.
So while I stand in line today
For my One-Way Ticket to Nowhere
I see your laughing, shining face,
And I smile into thin air.
"One Ticket, please."
