i guess i will never understand. i guess its just all over then. friends, roommates whatever we are whatever this is. well obviously its nothing. to throw it all away. this is the price i shall pay. this is the ending i shall take on. its ok. every time you smile, every time you are happy i shall absorb some of your pain and suffering. this is the least i can do. for what i have caused you. if i could leave i would. i am sure it would be easier on you. and i know i dont think you are gonna be leaving any time soon. so maybe theres still hope to patch up what little of nothing we have left. i gave up on my feelings for you because that is what you wished but now you are throwing our friendship down. i am a human being, i have feelings, emotions and you are trampling all over them. you were right the one you open up to the most is the one who hurts you the most. yet you promised you wouldn't hurt me yet it no longer matters you have no obligation towards me.but it looks like me just being around sucks the life out of you. but i have promises i must up hold. i shall up hold my end. i ruined it all. and i will suffer from it all. this is the path i choose. i will walk it and endure pain endure the lonley ness for in the end you are right i did throw it away. yet you too are to blame. you say you gave it a chance yet you pushed me away. constintley and never gave me the actually chance to open your heart up. for you are the reason my life has almost ended yet i fight and you gave up.