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"My pain, my pride. These scars are mine."~ Otep Shamaya
Ruthless Rumination
Just how long?
Just how long can she stay mad at me?
And friends could we ever one day be?

I dream at night that I lie awake.
Tossing and turning alone in my capitalist castle.
I almost accept and beg for the fate that you bring.
I jump with a fright,
And awaken to a knife
Placed so perfectly to cease my life.
You gaze into my eyes,
As I open my thighs,
My body aches in submission as I feel my pulse rise.
I feel you press inside,
Searching as your smirk grows wide,
While I lay helpless and contribute to your ever debilitating pride.
You'll say:
"You didn't even resist,"
Then you'll lean in for a kiss,
I'll lay back and submit,
You'll press your own to my lips,
Your talons coursing over my hips-
Then I'll feel the thrust,
But not the expression of your lust,
Nor an embrace of trust,
But a silvery impaling thrust of what probably think is just.
Right through my heart? Oh yes, it must.
I has to be, because even I would like to see.
Just to know for sure before I finally leave this world- Free.
Did that monster that was me,
Did she-
Could she ever really see?
Could she see that even her heart that might have been ten sizes too small, still belonged to what could have been her wife to be?
It started beating faster the first day we spoke,
And now it aches as I try to form these words and choke.
Ten years. Ten long years I spent loving you, and yet denying you.
But I didn't know you were dying.
I mean everything I ever said to you and always will.
But pardon me, because now I've got to pay my existential bill.
I left you your tip, my heart.
I promised it to you once, this will be the first I actually keep.

Alucarda Incarnate
Community Member
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