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Dear Princess Celestia... Just the ramblings of a lost Pwny.

Community Member
Holy ******** that hurt!
So like, I usually don't do a log about my workdays but, today was somewhat special. That is, if you're into getting stung, or have never been stung before, like me. =

Anyways my workday started as usual around 10 am, I was working with the Landscaping and Pool Maintenence Head, who goes by the name, Smith. (Why exactly he goes by his last name is a long story...if you're really that interested about it ask me about it.)

Anyways, we arrive at the founder of one of the many waterfront gated communites all along the Tennessee River, known as Jim Gallagher, founder of Heritage landing. Heritage landing is where most of my clientele is, whom are mostly retirees, doctors, or lawyers.

Anyways we work as usual, trimming the Ivy to a strict 45 degree angle with the sidewalk, snipping rogue bamboo shoots, which are prevalent in the hilly region above heritage landing, or pulling up what Smith calls, "volunteer trees", which are plants that just pop up randomly in the yard, and grow at a very fast rate.

After doing all that and double checking for errors, boss-man tells me to go in the backyard and trim the Wisteria off the bushes starting from the base, and finishing on the perimeter of the bush. (Fun fact, Wisteria, if not kept in check and trimmed can be potentially very dangerous to all of the plants and trees in your yard. It is a very very agressive vine, and it grows at an accelerated rate. If not left in check and it makes its way around, say a tree, It could cover the tree and choke it out, making the tree a fall risk, which could potentially cause serious property or physical damage!)

Anyways I manage to clear it off a holly bush, then i make my way to a Butterfly bush, which is covered by the wisteria, poor thing. (Another thing to note, is that it is alot more manageable, to cut off small tidbits of a vine that is intertwined with another plant rather than just cutting it at the base and ripping it off the plant, as you could break off blooming flowers or shred the leaves off a plant when you just try to man handle it that way.) Anyways, I trim a few vines here and there, until...

I step in an over grown patch of ivy. I paid no mind to it at the time as I had thought it was a common gopher hole. But as it turns out it was no gopher hole, cause within seconds I had felt something buzz by my ear, then I thought something had bit me on my tricep. I quickly brished my arm, in hopes to rid my self of the attacker. but then the next thing i knew, I was surrounded by these little yellow flying things, which I had thought were hornets, as my boss had told me of a hornets nest in a nearby birdhouse. Six or seven of the little bastards landed on me and got me in one of my ribs, the back of my neck, one of my nipples, on my calf, on the underside of my wrist and, the worst one, lets just say my "inner thigh".Nearly every inch of my body felt like it was on fire at that moment as sensation was just so strong, but despite that, I Hauled a** out of there, tossing my tools to the side, not so much concerned with thier safety as with my own.

I manage to make it back to my superior and my client, Gallagher, who clearly wasnt thrilled to see me at the moment as I still had a few on me. Gallagher, runs to his Lincoln rolls up the windows and promptly says "I'll catch you guys later, I just remembered i forgot something at the office." and drives off. (for a 73 year old, that guy really hauled a** for his age~!) Smith, being the hot, stoic, ex-marine badass that he is, instructed me to take my shirt off and walk the other way around the house. (As bees, hornets, dirt daubers, and yellow jackets will only follow you for a certain distance before returning to the nest, so if you piss one of those off, run like hell the other way!)

Now, my boss Mr. *former* Lieutenant, Smith, realized I had dropped my tools, and decides that, those yellow jackets wont get in the way between him and his job, so he charges in after the tools... But just as I had recieved, he returned swiftly with battle scars of his own, and with tools still not in in hand. And this time, Mr. Stoic Badass, has turned into a whiny little schoolgirl! Swearing up and down and cursing the little ********. (but to be honest, for my first encounter with an angry swarm of yellow jackets, I had expected much worse.) And to be totally honest, I couldnt help but chuckle under my breath as my senior tried, and failed over and over to retrieve the tools.

Finally he gave up on it until we had finished our other tasks on the work schedule, where he decided he'd give it one last shot before throwing up the white flag. Armed with a japanese rake, He cautiously entered the belly of the beast. But by that time, they had settled down somewhat and he was able to just reach down in the ivy and retrieve the fallen clippers. With another swearword, he handed them to me and said "Lieutenant Smith One, Yellow Devils Zero." "Mission Accomplished." and with a sigh we headed back to the car and drove off to our next destination...but that part is boring so I won't include that.

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