I tried to asphyxiate myself the other day.
I don't know why.
This time I really don't.
I guess it's getting harder and harder to curve these suicidal tendencies.
Maybe I really do need some help.
Not that I would ever stoop so low as to ask for assistance.
My pride couldn't handle something like that.
Pride chips away at all great men.
Maybe it's just the pride that makes me think I'm great.
I don't have anything to show for how great I am.
Unless surviving tons of near death experiences count.
I don't think they would if most of them were self inflicted.
I haven't had any alcohol in months now.
I guess I'm pretty much cleared of that habit now.
Which I guess was a good thing.
I'm not sure how much my liver could have had left.
Though the urge to start drinking again is constantly rising in me.
The same goes for smoking, and I don't even really like the taste or smell.
Maybe I just have an addictive personality.
It would explain why I have so many habits.
I should ask my therapist, I'd call him but I don't feel like it.
I don't know what I would say.
I've been blanking out a lot lately.
Staring into space or whatever terms are more used I guess.
Well I guess I'll talk about today.
David and Kelvin were here.
David beat me in magic a lot.
Kelvin played video games.
I had an okay time I guess.
I would've had more fun if we went to someone else's home.
I've been stuck in my home for months and growing tired of it.
Part of my does want to just stay in though.
I think it's just because Christine visits me a lot more now over the summer.
It's usually at night though.
She had me watch Sherlock for the first time.
It's some pretty good s**t.
I cuddled with her because it was freezing in my room the other night.
It was probably a bad idea because she kept trying to kiss me.
The nerve of some people.
If she keeps it up I might give in one day.
As she says, "I'm going to take her virginity away one day."