Windows 8 is the biggest piece of sh*t I've ever laid eyes on, and the Xbox One is nothing compared to this piece of sh*t. Vista, I've used this mediocrity fest. Seven, I've used you to a quite satisfactory level as well as XP, and 2000 was on par with Vista.

Windows 8, whoever designed you has run the maximum necessity of their life. Vista is godly compared to you; Godly.

As well as this, nothing works with this thing. Besides the horrid and wretched "Charm Bar" (moronic name), I can't install anything that worked with 7. I played two games I had played on 7, since this new compy-compy was bought due to the other one deciding to go the way of the faulty power supply, and it's not worth the replacement for yet another piece of sh*t computer that actually started sizzling when playing certain games or viewing certain .gif files. Those two games, one worked but didn't save the "log-in" data, and the other took "over 9000" seconds to load.

On a side note, there is this format for Microsoft Word known as .wps. It is a most wretched format that my mother used to make her resumes. There is quite literally no use for this format besides infuriating me trying to open it with anything. This was a format that apparently everyone dropped the support for in 2006. Thanks, Microsh*t.

Xbox One's failure-tastic advertising plans are nothing compared to this. I require stabbing people. Today is day 2 of this thing, and those Windows 7 disks are looking divine right about now.

You know what gets praised about this sh*t-tacular OS; the boot-up speed. Wow, it takes 10+ seconds faster to load. Whoop-dee-f*cking-doo, you want a medal? No really, you want a f*cking medal; entered into the Guinness Book for fastest OS boot speed? Go right ahead, take the spot. I'm in such a hurry to do things that the instantaneous loading time deserves such f*cking praise.

I've not been so infuriated on a per-second basis than with this thing. I can't even click anything without wanting to shove it up someone's ass. I think I need to back-up this thing, you know, like I did with 7 on like day 2 for safety reasons, but you know, I'm tempted to just letting it die with no sympathy and completely overwriting it. It's such a waste of record-able DVDs.

I still have no idea how to make a bootable CD of Windows 2000 or 98. I require these things for some other near-dead compy-compies so I could toss some old games on there For Great Justice.
Hawk Man out.
Hawk Man back in.

As a bonus, there's this "moving files to location" indicator that usually pops up when you move a file. Dragging and dropping something else into a different folder while the other move is happening will lump them all into the same indicator. Since I just tried to move something, it popped up again. Well, since it lumps them all together, it reminded me of something: there's this separate function that is a little "x" in order to stop the transfer. I clicked it a few hours ago to cancel a transfer of some save files. It said "Cancelling" for a few seconds before I just clicked the main screen's "x" and shut it off, thinking it would go away. Well, I've just been reminded that it still f*cking says it's "cancelling" 2+ f*cking hours later.

I can't stand this thing anymore. It's being replaced either before I go to sleep or tomorrow.

Bonus#2; I very easily installed the Japanese Windows 7, uh, "pack"-type thing before. This thing doesn't even want to do that properly. The method in XP required downloading files from some site. Seven was and still is easier to do that. This... nothing f*cking happened. I went to Microsh*t's page for downloading it, clicked it, then I stared into space and watched as nothing happened.

Burn this thing with acid. Maybe a third bonus will pop-up before the second day is over... Did I mention that the computer froze for a good 5 minutes trying to install the Avant Browser, something that worked flawlessly on 7? Did I mention that was the first thing I downloaded on this thing, like 10 minutes out of the box? Did I mention the Task Manager takes a ridiculous amount of time to load, and actually stopped responding for a good 10 seconds? Did I mention the format of the Task Manager is confusing and looks like sh*t? The Task Manager doesn't even work right...

I'll find that third bonus... Don't tell anyone that the .NET Framework 3.0 doesn't even initialize the install procedure under any circumstances. Don't tell anyone about the horrid "Corner Switches" and the lack of a decent "Start" menu. I don't even think the Recycle Bin has a sound effect, but that's minor.

Oh, and when installing an application and trying to set file associations like 7-zip or VLC Player, they don't set properly.

I'll find that third bonus yet, just you wait...

Bonus#3... I knew I'd find it.

You know how when you install something that it requires you restart the machine? Well, you could shut the thing off and turn it back on, but it won't install unless you literally pick the "Restart" option. You could plainly shut it off and turn it back on the next day for the other f*cking Operating Systems, but not this piece of f*ck-f*ck. It was turned on and off by my mother and also turned on by Hawk Man, but Mine Has Some Software still didn't install.

f*ckness requires Windows 7 disks today. No more delay. Windows 8, it's time for you to fly away.

Eagle Man to the sky.

Bonus#4 + #5.

The method that was used in Windows 7 to make a backup is non-existent. In fact, they've called this half-assed procedure "Windows 7 File Recovery" in the actual "Generic Search Feature" settings this thing has in which what I did do was waste a DVD, thinking this would be the full method. It was just a ~250MB disk that looks like it won't work anyway.

It doesn't even know how to boot the disks. It doesn't know how to boot anything. I can't even use Google to know, because all it's doing is bringing up results in how to make a bootable USB drive due to these people writing the articles being Microsh*t's corporate dick sucking morons. I don't know how to change the bios, actually, I do. I've changed this bios, and I've changed others. This one is beyond ridiculous. This includes the fact that it requires a whole different procedure just to get into the bios in the first place. It can't be standard, because you know, that boot speed is the only thing to praise about this piece of sh*t. Here's your medal...

Whoever made this OS, you do not deserve life. None of the people who worked on it deserve life. Please f*cking die. I can't even put the Windows 7 disks in, because unlike normal computers, this one doesn't even know what a "bootable disk" is supposed to be. They* said this new "bios protection" is to prevent malware... You mean the old malware, the malware you knew about, not the new malware that's going to circumvent your sh*t posthaste? Next you'll tell me this was supposed to prevent piracy and used games *snicker*.

*"They" being a euphemism for Microsh*t's corporate dick sucking article writers.

My patience is shot. I want to slit someone's throat. Why does this thing exist?

Day 3 E'ery-Boday!1!!!11!

Falcon Man bids you adieu.

Hi again. There are many subtle edits you should see here. This is another edit just to mention that I managed to get the boot thing to work, only for it to give me an error saying there's not enough space. I got it to work thanks to a YouTube video in which, naturally, the corporate-cock sucking article writers didn't bother to mention the CSM thing that has to be enabled.

Oh, and one more thing. Here's your new medal, Microsh*t: gaia_star

Tit Man has been unleashed.

Unnoticed Bonus: I got a blue screen with a sideways frown face (typical emoticon use[ sad ]) a few days ago, possibly on Day 1, and it said I got an error. I just found out now that it is the new, Windows 8 Blue Screen of Death (BSoD). Day 4, E'ery-Boday.

For a slightly related bonus, I just decided to look up how the version numbering for Windows has been that leads up to the "8". This goes like this:
Windows 1
Windows 2
Windows 3
Windows 4 (Windows 95; Windows 98 and ME are considered "updates" wink
Windows 5 (Windows 2000; Windows XP is considered "Windows 5.1" wink
Windows 6 (Windows Vista; Windows 7 is considered 6.1 and Windows 8 is 6.2)
... [Pause]
You know what's funny? Microsh*t tries to "sell" the explanation for why they chose this numbering system as being something other than, "We did it because we felt like it." Thinking about this in any other form of justification is nothing but a f*cking headache. They attempt to manipulate people into thinking they did that to "protect program compatibility"... This is Microsh*t we're talking about here; when have they ever been concerned about having anything else being compatible for their stupid OSes other than Microsh*t Office and Minesweeper? What happens when the actual "Windows 7" comes into fruition? Are they going to name it "Windows 10" after "Windows 9" is considered "Windows 6.3"?

Oh wait, they were the geniuses that named the "Xbox One". Is the OS on that considered "Xbox 2.0", because the original Xbox was "Xbox 1.0." and the Xbox 360 was considered "Xbox 1.1"?

Microsh*t, you're too desperate for market attention.

Canary Man exits in a flurry of feathers.