Does anyone else know how painful it is to figure out that you like your friend, and on the same day that you figured it out, to hear from that person himself say that he likes your old friend?

I'll tell you a litter story.

Back then, earlier in my freshman year, I found out that I liked him around when school started, and I didn't know that he had a girlfriend after a certain while. It also hurt back then, because when I thought I had a chance, I never really did in the first place because he was dating his gf for over 3 months at the time and I didn't know. So as a defeat, I told him I liked him just for the heck of it. No, I didn't do this to win him over or anything. I just wanted to tell him that I liked him, but I knew I didn't have a chance against her. She was pretty and tall and they both lived near each other and everything.

But they broke up, and a lot of crap that was apparently false was told about her. Like, how she only started liking some bands because of the guy I liked and stuff. Yeah, I talked to her about a month ago, none of it was real. How would I know? Because I want to hear it form the person themselves. Whether it is true or not, I can tell from their voice. Unless they are good at lying... oh well.

So yeah, they broke up, but they both got expelled from expelled from school because of being caught attempting to have sex in the bathroom. It was his first time, and I thought that it was an idiotic move. But she kept begging I think from what I'm trying to remember, and he agreed because he loved her. May I add that he was head over in heals in love with her? It wasn't good news to hear that they broke up from seeing them always going home together and taking turns on each others' buses and such and him always going "Oh, today was boring, besides her, y'know? (x " to me on facebook.

Now, it's just her ex that became a problem. Plus, she lives near me. Is this getting a bit confusing? If so, hope you catch up soon. I'm not going to go into anymore full-on details with this. So yeah, she still liked him in the end. We all went to warped tour a week ago, right? Along with an extra old friend, of course. It was amazing. By the time it was night and we were at the last concert of the night (BlesstheFall hheheheehe) She was freaking out whether to ask him out again or not. Then she did, but the guy that I liked said "He doesn't know." On our way back, we were all like, "He ruined itttt. Omg the only opportunity out of a long shot was ruinedddd" Haha. Because, it was perfect. xD And at this point, I was still contemplating whether I liked him or not, but if they dated, I thought that my wavering feelings would vanish...

Later on, he told me that he really didn't like her anymore, and he didn't want to hurt her feelings, so that's why he said that. Then I told him, "Don't keep leading her on then. Just tell her, you have nothing to lose or hide." I wasn't trying to win him over either. I only told him what needs to be done, or else it would just have an ending worse that could've been done earlier to less-complicate things. Therefore, he did, and now we're all pretty chill.

Now, me and him slept over at the guy's house (the extra friend/old friend that tagged along with us at Warped Tour) and it was pretty fun. We sang and listen to music and went night swimming last night. The guy that we met at Warped had a younger sister. I noticed along the way that he started liking her somewhat, I'm not sure. And I am not sure how I figured that out either, it was just a feeling. Women's intuition? Haha. The next day(today), it was the guy from Warped Tours' birthday. It was pretty chill. We left a bit earlier though (me and the guy I liked) because his Mom wanted him to go to Olive Garden since it was his little brother's birthday, and I told my parents I would be home today. We both left and went there, and when we were there, he told me that he liked her. I was like, "I knew it!" Haha. But, he sorta knew that she had a boyfriend. Earlier today me and Katelyn were talking, and she was seriously in love with him and they both knew each other for a while as well. I knew that Sean didn't have a single chance, because well, complications are torn with her and another guy. (No no no, not cheating and crap. get your mind out of the gutter. I don't wanna explain this part, so let's move on.) He also knew he didn't have a chance, and I kept thinking today;

One day, I'm going to see if I can impress you with the struggle that I'm going to start today as friends. I want to see your expression when I tell you how long I've loved you. And you will never know.

I hope this works. It's sort of confirmed at the moment. Haha, yeah I know. I'm sorta a whore because I like good looking guys when I see them, and I can never tell whether I'm in love yet. I feel like I am with Sean, but since I almost confirmed it and everything, well.

this is just life. I'm getting through it.