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Whoops, my mind's spilling again. This journal is an outlet when I feel like it.

Community Member
My Journal
It had been a while since I've been fairly active on Gaia. I've had an account for just under a decade now, and I have never really been super active but I always come back. It's nice that it will always be there. So, tonight I was looking through all my old journal posts and DAMN! It was mostly about me being an inexperienced teenager obsessing about Evan, a guy that took up barley any space in my life and wasn't very cool actually. God, I'm so happy to not be at that point in my life. Even though it is kind of nice to just let my imagination run my life, it is better to be older, wiser, and more calm. I mean, the obsessing, the inexperience, the anxiety, the spelling mistakes!!!! Yes, I do realize that I probably rushed all my entries and never double checked, but now my spelling is pretty spectacular. emotion_awesome

What actually ended up happening was that I went to community college for two years, in my home town but I eventually did make it to big girl college. I did manage to go down south, by L.A. I attend California State University of Long Beach now. It is exactly where I wanted to go, and I just knew it would be perfect. And it is! 3nodding I completed my first year there!!!! heart heart cat_razz My first semester I actually made it on the Dean's List!!! I was a good student again! emotion_brofist But in my second semester I gave myself a heavier workload than I realized emotion_jawdrop and my roommates, who were also my best friends, said mean things behind my back and left me a lot emotion_puke so I didn't do as well as my first semester emotion_bigvein , but I still got 2 Cs and 2 Bs!!! yum_puddi So not horrible!!!! -----> I love my school though, all the teachers are amazing and the campus is beautiful!!!

Oh! My major is English Literature!! Can you believe it?!?! With all the spelling mistakes I made here!!!!! yum_burger

Anyway, I don't think anyone has been keeping up with my lame journal. Especially since I don't update on the reg. but I wanted to give an update. My life is going pretty okay. At home for the summer but I'm kinda running my own life now. I'm single, and I like it that way and I broke myself away from toxic, life-sucking friends. I still love them but I just cannot keep giving and putting in so much effort when I hardly get anything in return. And it's not even about getting something in return; I just want them to care as much as I do- to not always be put last. So I'm taking charge of my life right now!!! xd ninja rofl Which is awesome.

Now I am going to read Lord of the Rings over the summer for my Tolkein class!!! How cool is that?!?! I never read it before, but I love the movies and I cannot wait to compare it Beowulf!!! *Like a dork* emotion_zombie If I get finished I'll probably start on Moby d**k next, I'm trying to get a head up this semester....See you later!! wink

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