i don't know what i did but
i screwed up somewhere
and i don't know where
more and more problems keep coming without my knowing and
when it does that's all i think about for the entire day
one of my friends still think life is meaningless and
everything i read or watch
i always look for something or some kind of hope that will help him see the light of life again
now i think i lost another friend
i don't know why
i don't think she'll be on in a while either
but it screws me over and stresses me out how i'll probably never know and i won't know for a while because she's going on hiatus
she's like my best friend that went through thick and thin with me and i screwed up somewhere and i regret whatever i did but
man i can't tell you
i barely leave the house and i stick on the computer all ******** day
and i can't type fast enough for all this s**t
my mind can't keep up
i still go through so many matters that i can't even
i wanna cry so much and i wanna scream and yell and shout
my friends aren't the only ones
i always vent to her, but now that i think about it
she's never really vented to me
am i that terrible
i wish i was in an anime where
in the end after all the s**t you go through you find really dependable friends
and those friends don't always make perverted jokes
they actually talk about TV shows and interests and actually meet up and make memories
if i wasn't so immature everything could've gone well
what the ******** am i doing

all this s**t piled up in me for who knows how many days
but even if i write it out
i don't feel any better
i still have a headache and its still a bit hard to breathe
am i still "fake"?