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Camren's Journal
stuff n stuff
This is something I wrote on a whim for a girl in CB It's not done yet (it kinda sucks at the moment... sorry if you're dead set on reading it) but I'm gonna make it better (one day)

I met him when I was sixteen years old. The image of his striking eyes is still burned into my memory as if it happened yesterday. He was so quiet, so, mysterious. I just wanted to get him to notice me. I was infatuated by him. I made a point to learn his class schedule just so that I could bump into him in the hallway. Every time I tried to say something to him I would get lost in his beautiful bright eyes. There was something different about him. I could never read him, and I could read almost everyone. I never knew what he was thinking, every look he gave me shot cold shivers down my spine. And the few words he spoke to me made my cheeks flush.

I was watching him climb a tree from the volleyball courts. Sometimes he would dangle from his knees and his shirt would fall up a little. Even though he didn't know I was watching him it made me blush every time. It was strictly against the rules to climb them, I loved that he didn't care. we had just been informed earlier that week that anyone caught in the trees would be held after school. I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye, it was the light reflecting off of officer John's badge. I didn't think, I just reacted. I ran to him, took his hand and told him to run. He jumped out of the tree and we ran together. I took him to the safest place I could think of, the music room. That's when I noticed I still had his hand in mine. I immediately dropped his hand and looked away hoping the burning in my cheeks wasn't as visible as it felt.
"it's safe here, no one ever comes back here and there isn't another class until next hour." I managed to stammer out in one long, run together sentience.
I jumped at his touch. He had my shoulder in his firm grasp. He tilted my chin up, and I was forced to look into his striking green eyes.
"Stop following me around." He said in a completely flat, even tone.
I couldn't read him so I jumped to the worst. I could feel my throat closing and my eyes stinging. I pulled away from him and made a mad dash for the door...

Before I could get away he grabbed onto the hood of my sweat shirt. It wasn't zipped up so I just let it fall off and went to hide in the bathroom down the hallway. I was grateful that I had taken him here, this was the only bathroom in the whole school that was always clean since it was used as a changing room for the theater students. I slid down the wall at the far end just out of sight of the door.

I heard footsteps entering the bathroom a few minutes later. Of course the one day I needed the place to be empty someone decided to come in. I didn't lift my head from my arms I just hoped who ever he was he'd leave me alone. The foot steps came closer and closer, I knew I'd have to talk to someone. I could feel him looking at me, I let out a sigh and looked up to see him, Quinten, kneeling in front of me holding out my hoodie.
"You also need to let me finish my sentences. Stop just following me around and actually talk to me for once."
He laughed and I realized that it was the first time I had ever seen him smile. He had the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen in my life.
I was completely floored, I couldn't believe what I was hearing....

Weeks passed, we had quickly become very close friends. Never one doing anything without the other. I had never felt happier, I pulled on the jeans he had complimented once and grabbed the shirt I had bought earlier that week. He had said his favorite color was royal blue and I had nothing that color. It was just a polo, but I knew he would like it. I made a tough face to the mirror as I popped up the collar, I couldn't help but laugh at how stupid it looked. I didn't understand how that became "cool" in the first place. I laid it back down where it belonged and shuffled around in my desk drawer for the crisp white envelope I had so carefully sealed the night before and hid it in my backpack. For once I couldn't wait to get to school. I dragged my older brother out the door forgetting my breakfast, I didn't care, I was too nervous to eat anyway.
"What are you so happy about t**t? I thought you hated valentines day. You gonna ask out that chick in your math class? She's way outta your league."
I glared at my older brother, he could be such a d**k sometimes. It wasn't going to ruin my day this time tho.

Quin had first hour off. How he managed that as a sophomore I'll never know. I ditched my first class just to compose myself. I was sure he felt the same way as I did but still, I had never done anything like this before. It felt like a lifetime before the bell that signaled the first hour's end rang. He was always late so I knew that it was the right time to head towards the parking lot. I was never a fan of trucks but I had grown to love his. I stood behind a large SUV and just watched him sing along with the radio. He always sat in the car until the song he was listening to ended. He hated not letting things like that have an ending. I crept over to his truck, if he noticed me he didn't make it obvious, but I was pretty sure I had successfully snuck up on him. I gently knocked on the window and that beautiful smile jumped onto his face, he rolled down the window and kept on singing along
"I didn't mean for you to get hurt
We can make it better
tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet?!"
I joined in on the song, by the end we were laughing since neither of us could hit the notes. I had forgotten that I had pulled the envelope out of my backpack and was tightly clutching it in my hand. Quin saw it and ripped it away from me.
"What's this? A valentines day card?! It had better be for me! I don't think I could handle it if a love letter from you was going to someone else."
He said it sarcastically but it still drained all the color from my face. He quickly put two and two together. that was not how I wanted the moment to go. I watched horrified as he opened and read the letter I had poured my heart out onto. Everything felt fuzzy, there was a ringing in my ears and before I even knew what was happening he grabbed the collar of my shirt and was pressing his lips to mine. It felt like seconds and hours at the same time, nothing could spoil that moment. Nothing except...
"ALEX! What the ******** are you doing?!"
My brother and a group of his friends had seen the whole thing.
He grabbed me around the chest so hard it knocked the wind out of me. He started dragging me away from the car, all I could do was scream for them to leave him alone and struggle to break away but David was so much bigger than me. I didn't stand a chance. The last thing I saw was Quin being pulled out of the truck's window.

So, that's my story, the therapist said it would help me recover if I got all my feelings out on paper. Hopefully I can be released from here soon. I don't like being supervised 24/7. I love him, all I want is to be with him again. I don't understand why no one will let me.

User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
commentCommented on: Sat May 18, 2013 @ 01:05am
that's a sad stroy sad
but well written :3

User Comments: [1] [add]
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