Alright so this one may be re-visited a few times. I feel like i need to type this out.
Theres so many ways to describe this feeling. Too many ways. New ways are being thought of every day. It makes us feel lighter, then again weighs us down when things go bad..
Its the feeling you get...
So many dots. Bleh. Anyways. One day after watching scott pilgrim for the first time. I went into my sisters car and we were heading home, I think it was raining. I was in a good mood thinking about the movie. Thinking about the love story. When suddenly I imagined a hug. The hug if you will. I just simply imagined hugging the one I'm in love with in the rain. This was before i even knew shane. So i didn't know who I'd be in love with at the time but when i imagined hugging the guy I just felt it. If my sister wasn't there id've started crying. Not sad, but just i felt so much in that moment i felt i needed to cry.
The same feeling happened when i saw crazy stupid love, which is currently my favorite movie. At the end you see the main character look at his wife and Right when i saw the look he gave her. My immediate thought was, I want someone to look at me like that someday. I felt the need to cry again.
Now today, it's happened again. I was watching the movie Oblivion, it's a pretty confusing dramatic movie, but it was still really pretty and pretty awesome. All artistic and futuristic looking. Anyways, the characters kiss at one moment and when they kind of took a step back looking into each others eyes and all that dramatic cheesey-ness and i just noticed the distance between their lips. What i immediately thought was, So close yet so far away. I could suddenly imagine myself in that spot. Just a moment away, an inch away from another lips.
I can imagine myself so close to another, lips so close hugging so tight and i can imagine feeling that intense wave of love. But I've never done it before. I've never kissed someone, ive never given someone an amorous hug before. Not in real life. But when i imagine these things they are like memories. It's all very romantic and cheesey and dramatic, but thats how i feel. Just like in the movie i saw. The only Real memories he had were of being in love. I don't think i've been brainwashed like in the movie, I'm too young to have any past memories of being in love. Pretty sure anyway.
Unless it was like in a past life. that'd be interesting.
It's the reason. I've been feeling so useless and pointless lately. But today is different. I felt like i was, well, important. I feel like i have something to say, something that needs to be heard. I dont know how to say it though.
Something about love and its philosophy probably. yeah..
Love is graffiti inscribed into the heart that cannot be washed away.
Aw man it hurts like a mother f*cker though. Its like a tattoo drilled into your fragile heart. It weighs your soul down to the floor. It feels as if your body is trying to suck itself into the ground. Only when bad things are happening though, if you over think and are over worried. But when you feel that moment of love you are f*cking sky high. The adrenaline pumps up. It isnt just sexual attraction, its like suddenly everything is in motion. You need to go you have a motive and you Must go to it. Its just crazy. I could go on about love.. and i shall. aw man is f*ckin beautiful
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