This week I decided to make a schedule for working in blender. Not a strict schedule, but just a some time I set aside to work using it so that I can get better at making stuff and get used to the controls. Its similar to what I do here with my journal entries, though I didn't schedule my blender time on sundays as well. Tuesdays and wednesday will be for working in blender instead.

On tuseday I started making a cat and worked on it a little bit each day this week even though I ment only tuesdays and wednesdays to be my blender work days. I was doing fine until I tried to do the nose. For some reason I couldn't figure out how to do it so it didn't look weird. I ended up deleting early this morning because I got so frustrated. I imediately started work on something new though, and so far its going well. If I get things right I might even put a short video on youtube using the model. I'm happy that it is going so well, but I am also trying to stay calm so I don't ruin it. Like while playing a game if a person gets too excited, they might get full of themselves or worry about their next move too much and end up screwing up just because of that. So, yeah, deep breaths and calmness, or at least my best attempt to do so.

I feel like I should mention the bombing earlier this week. Probably because the story is everywhere right now. I get the idea that bombing an event that was to benefit or remember the people who died in another disaster is veiwed as awful, however I also know that people die every day around the world for various reasons that could very well be worse than a bomb. As horrible as it may sound, I am not moved by this event that took only three lives. There are way too many worse things that kill more people and ruin more lives than this. I do hope the guy is punished and the survivors of the bombing go on to live happy lives, but that is about it all I feel about it.

Is it normal to feel guilty about the things I think and feel about certain events? Or is it social programming? Like a "I feel bad because I know others would disapprove" sort of thing. Sometimes I really wish I could be like people who think what they think and feel however they feel without a bit of care about what other people may think neutral