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Total Number of Entries: 32 ...If you want a better idea of what this is about, read entry 1. Maybe also entry 2. (Entries that are part of my actual journal project outline will be numbered consecutively, no matter how many other entries may come in between them.)
And read entry "Perestroika".
Visualize Whirled Peas !

No matter who you are and what you think of me--
No matter how much you dislike me, feel intimidated or threatened by me--
No matter what you might THINK I may have done that you may take as a personal insult, affront, or attack--

Even if you might be able to make me frustrated, upset, insulted, or annoyed--
And no matter how genuinely angry you might possibly be able to make me if you really seriously try hard enough--

Know This:

I do not and never will mean you any harm or insult--
I know how to wish all people well and sincerely greet them in friendship even if I cannot approve of some of their behavior or attitudes--(and that includes you personally no matter who you are)--
I do not hate you or anyone else--
I absolutely refuse to be your enemy, even if you think I am or should be.
I simply refuse. No matter the circumstances.
I will not be anyone's enemy, ever, and that is absolutely guaranteed.

I may spend the rest of my life futilely attempting to figure out how to convince everyone who meets me of this fact, but I am certain I will still be trying to let everyone know I am not their enemy until the day I die.

Although it does by definition include every living being everywhere, this note is not specifically directed at anyone on Gaia... don't take it personally if you come across this journal entry because I don't -think- anyone on Gaia currently has any reason to either suspect me of being their enemy or to suspect I might think that they might think that one or the other of us might have reason to worry that the other might have been offended or bothered by something, etc. etc. and don't worry, everything is okay as far as I know with everyone I know on Gaia as far as direct interactions with me are concerned.

This journal entry is actually mainly a personal reinforcement of my position on the matter of me not wishing to make an enemy of anyone no matter what... because of a certain person in real life bothering me by the way she has been acting as though she thinks I am personally insulting or threatening her just because I don't condone all of her actions and I haven't been going out of my way to accommodate her every preference that she isn't even willing to face me personally and express. (for example-)Seriously, just because I am packing a month early (to move) and have removed all of my own personal possessions from the kitchen, including pots and bowls and such that all my roommates in an apartment of 5 have been using, does not mean one of them has good cause to suddenly start acting like it is somehow a personal threat to her, that she has to start labeling things that belong to her that she never bothered to label before, and to complain behind my back to a visitor of hers while I am within earshot, that things have "disappeared" as though I'd been allowing someone to come in and randomly plunder everyone's possessions from the kitchen or something... how does me relocating my own possessions in any way threaten things that belong to someone else? I do not take things that do not belong to me, and just because I had more things than her in the kitchen that she and others were accustomed to using does not somehow grant them any kind of "rights" to use, or say in whether or not those items remain in the kitchen. Seriously, I see no legal or moral imperative there, only the general idea that it would be nice, polite, and generous of me if I went out of my way to leave my things in the kitchen until the last possible day to pack them up. However, since I have been under a lot of stress and have been quite concerned over how much stuff I have to move and the limited space in vehicles available to use to move said possessions, and worried over the likelihood that I will have to pack and repack everything I own more than once in the coming month just to make sure I can either make it fit in as few boxes as possible and/or in order to sort through everything multiple times to get rid of much of it so that it will all fit into less boxes due to there being less of it... etc. etc. on top of everything else in my life that I have been under a lot of stress over, really the easiest category of my possessions to begin packing was that of "kitchen stuff" since with my kitchen things (as opposed to, say... for example... books...) it is easier for me to quickly identify what I need to keep and what can most easily be discarded and replaced later. So... in this particular circumstance I felt it more important to begin with what would be best for me to begin packing even though it is less convenient for others. I don't often deliberately put my own needs ahead of those of others (fact I know to be true, whether it is good or bad, and it may well be both) but in this instance I felt it necessary for me. So there.
But even so, nothing in it was meant to be an insult or threat to anyone, and even though someone's reaction to the situation is irritating to me, I still wish her well, mean her no insult, and I am still sincere in my greetings to her, and I hope things work out well for her future. Really I do.And in all sincerity, I hope she grows up... which I realize it can be taken as an insult for me to say she should "grow up" but really I mean it in the truest, most sincere sense of hoping that she learns to act more mature in some ways for the benefit of her own self and her future life and for others who may interact with her.And admittedly I also have more maturing to do because I should not be allowing her immature behavior to irritate me so much. Oh well, at least I am trying to deal with it instead of getting genuinely angry.

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  • User Comments: [3]
    For when people suck and things suck:

    1. Make good art.
    2. Be selfish, because sometimes that's the only way you can make things best for yourself.
    3. No regrets.

    comment Amarikah · Community Member · Fri Jun 21, 2013 @ 04:35am
    Re-reading this now and thinking over what you've told me, I think she may have been suffering from co-dependency somewhere else in her life.

    comment Amarikah · Community Member · Tue Aug 13, 2013 @ 09:19pm
    I don't care anymore what her problems are.
    They're hers, not mine--especially since I don't have to be around her anymore and probably never will.
    I still wish her well and hope she works out her issues eventually, but I no longer care what those might be and do not have to deal with it.

    comment delbosque · Community Member · Wed Aug 14, 2013 @ 12:00am
    User Comments: [3]

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