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Spore Loves You, Every One
A compilation of short stories and other junk, for your viewing pleasure.
Story Request from XFateX
I was challenged by user XFateX to create a story involving the characters of her BJDs. This is what popped out of my brain.

This is a story, a story that takes place in a land, and that land is called Dollas, Techsass. When a certain someone named Fate reads the name of this city, it sounds exactly like the very real city that exists in real America, because she is American. On this day in Dollas, four people were about to become linked in a way that no one had even been linked before… (if you just thought about the human centipede, I feel sincerely concerned for you) but I am going to cut the crap now and just get on with it!

Kouji was walking home from school. He had just gotten off the phone with his mother, who had called him to say she was going to be home late and that she had left him some lasagna in the fridge, but as usual the conversation ended in a talk about how he should really be contributing more to the household, and it had left Kouji feeling irritated and stressed as usual.
“Ugggh,” he muttered to himself, “I’m only 14. What do you expect from me? I already make my bed on weekdays, vacuum monthly, and I even take out the trash when asked more than once! It’s not like I’m old enough to get a job or anything-“
Kouji stopped short as he noticed an advertisement on the pole in front of him. “Ranch hand needed. No experience necessary. Positions open for males of all ages. Stop by any time for referral at the address below.” Kouji felt fate (destiny, not the person) tug at him as he read the notice. He pulled out a pen and notebook from his backpack and quickly scrawled down the address and name of the stable. He vowed to go there the very next day to check it out.
“I can’t wait to see the look on mom’s face when she hears how motivated I’m being!” he thought, and skipped the rest of the way down the street.

At the very same time on the other side of town, a man named Kai was walking down the street, sighing and scratching his head. He has just been fired from his latest job as a doorman for making passes at the residents and paying visits to their rooms during his shifts. His rent was due this week and at the moment he was broke. He was thinking about how he would take on just about anything when a gust of strong wind blew a piece of paper right into his face.
“Hmm… ranch hand at a stable, no experience required, hunh?” he said, grinning. “Probably some hot pieces of a** there too. Challenge accepted!” And with that, Kai pocketed the flyer and proceeded to whistle to himself the rest of the way to his apartment building.

Ren was walking back to his car after a quick trip to the grocery store. Things weren’t going so well for him right now. He had just finished college but had been unable to find a job in his field, so instead he was living his nightmare as a manager at a fast food restaurant. All he wanted was to get out of it, and the flyer attached to his windshield as he arrived at his vehicle gave him some hope (the positive feeling, not the doll).
“I would normally pass something borderline sketchy like this, but I could use a bit of honest, hard work right now. I suppose I will check it out tomorrow.” And with that, Ren cranked up the music in his car and even sang along with for a verse or two.

The next day, Kouji arrived at the ranch. He read the sign and couldn’t help but feel something was a little off. Perhaps it was a joke he didn’t quite get? The ranch also didn’t look much like he expected at all. For starters, there were no animals in sight. There wasn’t any sign of a stable as far as he could see, but maybe it was around back. Things looked a little run down, so he hoped they weren’t struggling too much. He approached the door of the main building with a bit of hesitation, but sucked up his courage and turned the handle.
Two men were already inside, one with dark hair and goggles, the other with a devilish look and short red hair. The dark haired male looked clearly annoyed.
“Aw come on,” Kouji heard the redhead saying, “You seriously can’t say you don’t find me even the slightest bit attractive, can you?” The brunette refused to reply.
“Umm, excuse me,” interrupted Kouji, “I couldn’t help but notice you both have a flyer in your hand. Are you here because of the ad?”
The two men nodded. Kouji’s heart sank. Why would anyone hire him over these two perfectly able-bodied adults?
His thoughts were interrupted as an awkward looking young man with large round glasses, spikey purple hair and a tight sparkly suit entered from the back. He looked like he was concentrating on something but he broke into a smile when he saw the three standing there.
“Why hello!” he exclaimed. “I’m Spore, a pleasure to meet you. Are the three of you clients or...?”
Ren spoke up. “We’re looking for work.” He held up the flyer for Spore to see.
“Ahh, yes,” said Spore, scratching his cheek. “I’ll go get the paperwork. Be right back.” And with that Spore scurried quickly out of the room.
“That’s seriously it?” Kai exclaimed, breaking the silence. “Man, what is with this place?”
Kai continued on, but Kouji had stopped listening. He was looking around the room intently. While Spore was talking he had noticed something especially odd. There was a pair of sneakers sticking out from the bottom of a set of long curtains. He decided to approach them when…
“Boo!” a little boy jumped out from behind the curtains, startling Kouji. “Did I make you pee?”
“No!” said Kouji, a large frown on his face. “Who are you?”
“Oh,” said the little boy, “My name is Hope. I live here. Could you take me home with you, please?”
“Of course not,” said Kouji. “My mom wouldn’t like that. And besides, I came here to get a job.”
Hope’s eyes widened. “You want to work here?” he asked.
“Why yes,” said Kouji. “I saw an ad for it and came right away. It said no experience necessary.”
“Oh,” said Hope. “Well that makes a little more sense I guess. You don’t look very experienced. Are you for certain this is the type of place you want to work? I mean, I’ve been here all my life and I’m not gonna lie, I want out. Just take me with you and I will live in your closet or something, kay? I’m pretty good at hiding, you saw.”
“But I found you,” said Kouji.
“I wanted you to,” replied Hope.
Kouji glanced back at the other two men, who by now were staring.
“Well what’s so bad about this place anyway?” Kouji continued.
“Well, you know what goes on here. You saw the sign.”
“Yeah, I did see the sign outside, this place has a weird name. What was it, the Ranch Dressing?”
“No, silly, it’s the Ranch Undressing. You know, it’s a play on ranch dressing you put on your salad, but also makes fun of the fact that this is a male brothel.
“WAIT, A WHAT?!” Kouji, Kai and Ren all yelled at once.
Hope looked confused. “You didn’t think this was like a ranch where you raise livestock did you? In a location like this? With a name like that? Come on!”
“I changed my mind,” Kouji said quickly. “You can come with me and live in my closet, Hope. I’m getting out of here.”
“I second that,” said Kai. “The getting out of here part, I mean. I like to mack on people but I don’t like being macked on, if you catch my drift.”
Ren said nothing and quietly drifted towards the door.

When Spore returned with the paperwork, everyone was gone. He cried a little to himself. Little did he know he had been just like them once. He had innocently sauntered in because of a flyer, and now there was not turning back. But that’s another story entirely.

So anyway, our three heroes and the new addition headed on their separate ways. They would soon reunite at another time in another location, but that is the end of the story of their first encounter. May it live in infamy.

The end?

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