i do just name my journal entries after things i happen to see around me.
i have a lot of feelings. strong feelings. of procrastination.
stuff that has happened:
1. met with the girl i'm collaborating on a comic with today. she sent me a lot of emails about how sad she was and how her parents didn't support her writing. her stories, though very lyrical, had kind of bad grammar, so i was picturing someone emo, perhaps plain, an immigrant kid
and she was this knockout beauty. tall and blonde with the clearest, brightest blue eyes. it was a little difficult to look at her.
and i almost stupidly thought, how can you be depressed. what have you got to be depressed about? you look like you have it all, you with your talk of a research job you got and frat parties and sunning on the beach in your hometown in Brazil. you're gorgeous.
but i mean, it doesn't work that way, does it?
do you know, the affluent have a higher incidence of depression?
my case in point.
2. i wished my derptastic derp friend a happy derping birthday and i even caved in and bought her something though for ******** sake we really aren't that close anymore
and i used to think it was my fault
but reading our conversations, she's just not very interesting to talk to. and she's a horrible listener. and i don't understand how anyone could treat me like that, because i'm so good to my friends. but maybe that's the problem.
so i guess gg and have a nice rest of your life, b***h.
(i get really bitter when people leave me, because i loved her a lot and we were really close. i don't understand how her mind works, but at the worst, i can say she's naturally calculating, and flighty, and has no strong values or loyalties, only passing fancies.)
(there! i've insulted you with my psychoanalytic bullshit! i am so sick of you!)
3. and people have indeed left...for spring break. so i'm sat here procrastinating heavily and mired in feelings. my boyfriend left for CAAANAAADAAAA where he has no service, and i never realized how heavily i focused on my few good friends, because all of a sudden, i have so much time that i don't know what to do with and so many things to share that i don't know who to share with.
there are some serious problems with being an introvert, i've found. it's the weird duality of being too tired and too sick of humanity to bother getting to know 99% of them, and then needing that 1% so much that you're slightly crippled without them.
4. on the upside, i...
i found an mcr song in my iTunes that i didn't know i had. that's the best thing about having so many songs ^^ listening to your iPod is an adventure.
the only hope for me is you -- mcr
my respect for mcr only deepens. time to get things done for actual k ttyl.
sora wonk Community Member 
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