how are you dealing with everything in your life? have they been hard? like its not even an issue?
idk if you'd be happy to know or not, but im starting to coupe better with how i've been blocked from your life. i'd say at first that i was honestly mad at the situation; i didnt know what was going on, thought if i could contact you some how 2 get answers it'll be alright, worried about what you thought. but it did make things worse and i was wrong.
i would say that it was my fault. i didnt know how to let go. i didnt know how to accept. i didnt know "no". i was being selfish by wanting to do whatever it took 2 be friends. i should have accepted it when you told me we couldnt be friends anymore the first time. i should have been more accepting and flexible, but all i did was make you mad, hurt, and/or angry after my attempts. if you could hear me, im sorry.
now a days i still think of you whenever i turn on the radio and "payphone" comes on. but i dont sweat about you as much anymore. all i pray for everytime i hear that song is that you'll be ok. idk if im being selfish now by writing you letters you may never read, or believe that theres some luck that you'll read them. maybe im looking at it to much, when i have a friend on gaia called keysay1 that has your birthday too. you may be her/him, but idk. im being selfish if i think about that. forgive me.
i better get back to studying now. i have finals comming up in a couple of weeks and a quiz in math on tuesday. lol i hate my procrastination habit. i wish i could fix it.
do you have the same problem? i hope you'll deal with it better than i can.
i'll write to you when i can
PS. i love you.
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