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Note: This dream occurred the same night I had told Shadow I no longer wanted to be his mate, but we could still be together in an open relationship as Moirails.

I was going for a ride on the train with my grandmother somewhere, I believe it was Boston to Lowell because I asked for a ticket to Lowell. I looked out the window, it was beautiful. It was looking out over the water and there were many tall buildings. Two men in civilian clothing came on board, asking for me by name, I told them I was who the were looking for. I had no idea who they were. They told me I was under arrest for suspected terrorism.

They grabbed my arms and threw me into a cop car. I just sat there, not panicking because I thought it was some sort of practical joke. Then the car started going on it's own! They were chasing after it. I remember thinking, "Someone is going though great lengths to pull this prank. Cars don't move on their own. They must really be trying to freak me out." Maybe they thought a moving car is a way to get me to think about all the secret technology the government is keeping from us, after all, I am big into conscienceless and finding the truth.

I somehow got out of my handcuff (were there ever any? Maybe not. I only remember each man grabbing an arm each and leading me away) and since there was no cage, started trying to steer it from the back seat. I managed to get up on the curb in front of a party store (apparently, it was around Halloween). I thought, "Perfect, I'll put on a costume and blend in with all these people."

Unfortunately, it became sort of a hide-and-seek. At this point, I had full realization that it was a dream. I suspected as much on the train before the men showed up, but it had fully sunk in now, so I was in complete control of my actions, lucid dreaming (I love that feeling, it's like video gaming). Anyway, these kids that were in there were helping the people (cops? FBI?), so I was literally hiding from everyone. I saw my opportunity to sneak out, but I ******** up the timing and this blonde woman with a gun and radio turned around and spotted me. She radioed someone, and she was told by the other end not to take me out. I'm not sure why, but they wanted me alive, probably for interrogation and torture.

I realized there was only one way out. So I lunged at her, screaming, "Don't take me out, huh?!" She screamed and drew her gun in self-defense and shot me right in the center of my chest, nearly hitting the heart.

And then I fell. No, not fell, sort of floated to the floor, clutching the wound. I think I whispered "Thank you." And I could really feel it. My limbs were heavy, it was getting dark, but it was so peaceful.

And then my eyes opened and I woke up...

The only time I actually made a move to commit suicide in a dream. Dreams were always my escape. I can do amazing things, why would I need to die? What does it all mean?

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