You know I was hoping to keep from putting anything depressing in journal but it seems like the inevitable happens whether you want to or not.

So I let a close friend go, the damn closest thing I've ever really had to a brother. It breaks my heart, I feel horrible about it, but the stress and pain that he's brought me as of late have caused my condition to worsen. So sadly I had to let him go.... It's selfish I know, why should I take my own health over anyone's happiness, but I guess there comes a time when everyone is selfish in their own ways,

What makes this event even sadder is the realization that this'll happen to virtually everyone I know, the only exceptions being close family and my meum leo.

... Eventually I will leave everyone on here...

Sad thing is though that I'm not even sure if that matters, if I leave or not. Who'll even miss me if I'm gone? I've already been replaced by practically everyone I know.. So why? Why stick around?

I need to start thinking about my health, because I don't want meum leo worrying anymore..