My beloved Cassandra MH,

You and I are just two pink people trying to make it in this visceral world. I know we're not perfect-- I've certainly been guilty of regicide in the past, and I know you've dabbled in gluttony, but let's put that all in the past and focus on what really matters: our bumpy love. Without you, I'm nothing but a tall beaver.

Yours excitedly,

CA Cupid