Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
Somethingness.
Here are the every-day feelings of moi, a 25-year-old crossing guard with hypersensitivity and Social Anxiety Disorder.
A Dream Discarded.
About five minutes (not literally) before I turned 18 I learned what I wanted to do with my life. Honestly, I felt a little bit stupid, the answer had been staring me in the face all of my life: Voice acting.

Sure, voice actors and actresses get paid in peanuts and treated badly in some cases but it fits me quite well and seems like a quite wonderful thing to do. I wanted to do it so much, more than anything else I've ever wanted to do. I practiced, even took acting lessons once or twice (not really something I needed) for years. I did lots of things to ensure that if I ever did voice act, I'd be good at it.

Then I got sick (physically), and that scared the crap outta me. I did some really odd things while I was sick and I was sick for a long time.In the process I utterly destroyed any kinda of good relationship I had or would have with my mother, I became universally known in my family as someone to pity and dispise, I blew my chances of going to college, I blew my chances of being able to enjoy living in Hawai'i, and I demolished any hope of ever getting a "decent" job. I just blew everything. It's been 3 years and I'm still trying to correct some of the damage that I've done.

The past few years have been spent with me trying my best to walk the straight-and-narrow, no matter how miserable it makes me. While being strict with everything I do I've come to several realizations, the biggest one being that I do have Social Anxiety Disorder and does affect how will I perform. Means no voice acting for Leena. I'm actually kinda glad that I figured it out. Figuring it out means I won't secretly plan a future that I'll never have and I'll never pine for what won't be. It means I can get on with my life, no matter how pathetic my life will be.

The only question is...now what? I'm good at plenty of things but I don't want to do any of them. Should I suck it up and just pick one? I think I'll actually be happy doing any job I can get and spending the money on things I want. That sounds really nice right now. I'm sure I'll forget about voice acting soon enough.


FIN

Cadhla Madra-Rua
Community Member
Cadhla Madra-Rua
«Prev | Next
Archive | Home

  • [05/01/13 05:41pm]
  • [03/12/13 06:00am]
  • [02/21/13 06:35am]
  • [02/18/13 10:41pm]
  • [02/07/13 10:45pm]



  •  
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Offers
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games
    Play with GCash
    Play with Platinum

    Customize your own avatar now!

    Join Now

    Have an account? Login Now!