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Here are the every-day feelings of moi, a 25-year-old crossing guard with hypersensitivity and Social Anxiety Disorder.
A Dream Discarded.
About five minutes (not literally) before I turned 18 I learned what I wanted to do with my life. Honestly, I felt a little bit stupid, the answer had been staring me in the face all of my life: Voice acting.

Sure, voice actors and actresses get paid in peanuts and treated badly in some cases but it fits me quite well and seems like a quite wonderful thing to do. I wanted to do it so much, more than anything else I've ever wanted to do. I practiced, even took acting lessons once or twice (not really something I needed) for years. I did lots of things to ensure that if I ever did voice act, I'd be good at it.

Then I got sick (physically), and that scared the crap outta me. I did some really odd things while I was sick and I was sick for a long time.In the process I utterly destroyed any kinda of good relationship I had or would have with my mother, I became universally known in my family as someone to pity and dispise, I blew my chances of going to college, I blew my chances of being able to enjoy living in Hawai'i, and I demolished any hope of ever getting a "decent" job. I just blew everything. It's been 3 years and I'm still trying to correct some of the damage that I've done.

The past few years have been spent with me trying my best to walk the straight-and-narrow, no matter how miserable it makes me. While being strict with everything I do I've come to several realizations, the biggest one being that I do have Social Anxiety Disorder and does affect how will I perform. Means no voice acting for Leena. I'm actually kinda glad that I figured it out. Figuring it out means I won't secretly plan a future that I'll never have and I'll never pine for what won't be. It means I can get on with my life, no matter how pathetic my life will be.

The only question is...now what? I'm good at plenty of things but I don't want to do any of them. Should I suck it up and just pick one? I think I'll actually be happy doing any job I can get and spending the money on things I want. That sounds really nice right now. I'm sure I'll forget about voice acting soon enough.


Cadhla Madra-Rua
Community Member
Cadhla Madra-Rua
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