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The creativity of my mind
Lately I just...
Don't really know whats going on with everything. There's mixed signals or no signals at all when it comes to everything. I'm so wrecked with what to do, confused, torn, terrified, scared, upset, angry, sad, drained, just completely emotional. I don't know what to do. I don't know how else to get through, or get anything at all really. I thought everything was okay, but now it's like it used to be. I try but not too much because I don't want to be annoying or a problem or a nuisance. But then I feel as if it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if I try or not because I feel like I'm not wanted. The mind was changed and I'm unwanted, not loved, not cared for, worthless, not important anymore. I don't want that to be the case, I really don't.
Because if I'm feeling this, broken, terrified to lose him, I don't even know.
But if I'm feeling this way now, I cant even begin to imagine how I'd be if it were all true.
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I hate feeling this way, and I don't know how to get over it.
I hate feeling weak, vulnerable, undone, unfocused.
I hate it with every breath of me.
I just want everything to be okay.
I want to be overreacting.
But I cant shake this horrible feeling I have in my chest.
The pain and lack of breath.
I feel like I'm being dragged under water & cant breath.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Please, tell me it's okay.

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