Gosh, am I the only one tired of school? The year hasn't even reached it's halfway point (or has it? Doesn't feel like it..) and I'm sick of it.
I want to just dropout because there's nothing for me. I feel deprived of opportunities. I feel as though I'm not learning anything in the homework given, that it's just a waste of my time. Hey, maybe it is, but now it's more obvious than it was before.
Everyday, I come home from school, and I know, in my backpack, there's homework. EVERYDAY. There's no end. And over the breaks? I just get holiday homework. How very thoughtful of you, teachers.
I'm just so... fed up with it. I want to quit, but there'll be too many people I'll be disappointing. My parents, siblings, distant relatives, friends, teachers, everyone I know, they'll be so disappointed if I don't do well in school.
Who says school leads to a happy future? Well. I suppose a lot of people say that..
I don't know anymore, honestly. All my life, I've been such a good student, and that I owe all to my awesome teachers! Buuuuut, with my current principal, all those awesome teachers aren't here anymore.
The only awesome teacher that stayed was my junior high Math teacher. She's a miracle! She's so nice, and she's so sociable. She's really open to the students, and she helps the school out a ton!
Sad thing is, in the last month, she had a surgery. She couldn't attend my classes for a month. She'll be back two weeks tomorrow (I can't wait!) but ever since she's been gone, I've been doubting school so much.
I also feel as though, recently, I'm a lot more depressed. I'd just be at school, righting notes or something, and suddenly, I'd get really sad. Like, my energy level would just drop. To make matters worse, there are those teachers who just love scolding me for doing or not doing something. To those teachers, if you know who you are, thanks for making my days that much more horrible.
Seriously, I feel annoyed at how sad I am these past few days.
When I was young, I was really miserable. I would hate everything, even myself. I'd hate the concept of life and its flaws. There was that one guy, Ron was his name, and he pulled me out of that darkness.
Ron, if you ever read this, thanks. I am forever in your debt.
Lately, if feels that I no longer have that hand pulling me out of this sea of tears. I'm drowning in my own sorrows, to speak metaphorically. Everyday brings my a little closer to how my life was when I was young.
It scares me, it really does. I don't want to be sad. I can't help it. I mean, like, emotions are good. Emotions are what makes us human. Sometime, though, I hate humans. I hate being human. If emotions make me human, I'd very much like to rid myself of these emotions, even just for a while.
I need everything to just... stop. For a moment, I want time to pause itself. I want to be at an unforgettable peace.
Who ever invented peace? The idea of it is absurd. Absolutely absurd.
Well anyways, I have homework to do. Thank you, reader, for reading my troubles. I know I can be a boring person, but (I've said this in a really old entry), I can't keep my feelings all bottled up inside, you know?
Goodnight to you if the night has arrived.
Today's lyrics are:
Hangman is coming down from the gallows
and I don't have very long
Remember, get the title and artist of this song correct (submit your answer as a comment) and you'll be rewarded. biggrin
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