heart heart heart I didn't realize I had went this long without making a journal entry. Mannnn I swear time passed by so quickly, tomorrow starts the last semester of my sophomore year in college so like heck yeah smile My winter break went by so fast, like unbelievably fast however, I have to tell you, a few days before I got out for winter break, I began talking to this girl so we've been talking for little over a month now but anyways, I'll start from the beginning. Sooo, it was the day before I took my English Comp I final and I was at home and I was suppose to be studying. I wasn't studying though, I was on ICQ bored as heck when I was suppose to be reading freaking Paradise Lost. But, usually when I get extremely bored, I'll go cruise a chat room in search of a decent non-sexual conversation with someone so after like what maybe an hour or two I get off cause apparently everyone was pervs that day, but anyways, usually I just get on that chat server but because I wanted to avoid studying longer, I went on ChatAvenue for the heck of it.
I talked to this one guy, in a lesbian chat room non the less, which I dunno why I talk to more guys in a lesbian chat room than I do girls but anyways after a while I got bored again, majority of the time I just can't humor some of these women who want me to tell them to call me master, pthssssss. But anyways this one girl im's me, her name was kay and she was the first person I talked to to have a freaking non-sex conversation. So we talked randomly and I was so amused, I have no idea
what we talked about. So we talked for a bit and I got disconnected and I was like omg whattttt the freak because I liked talking to her so I hurried and refreshed my browser and got connected and sure enough she was still there and I was like freakin ninja turtle or well my username was a ninja turtle but anyways.
I found out she lived in London so there was a 6 hour time difference and I was the one behind. So by the time she had to get offline, I asked if she had yahoo messenger which she didn't but we decided to meet back in the same chat room at a certain time the next day, sure enough she was there and I was like smile ha but anyways we talked for a good while, eventually we wanted to hear what each other sounded like because she had a british accent and I had a country american accent. So because there wasn't a way we could figure out how to actually talk to each other I let her listen to one of my recordings on dict.cc and I gave her my password and username and she recorded something on there and after I listened to her I swear I embarrassed her a little because I was like omg you sound so cool, I love the way she ways doller by the way. But anyways the day after that she downloads yahoo messenger and we talk for the first time on voice chat, it was only 15 minuets because I had to run to town but haaa needless to say she liked my accent as well.
So over the next few days we start talking for hours at a time, exchanging pictures, learning more about each other and eventually we began talking about things that made us completely vulnerable with each other and it happened so fast but I started to miss her, I started to fall in love with her. It happened really fast. Now those of you who might be reading this and probably thinking 'pthss she doesnt know the first thing about love' well for anyone who thinks that, well I dunno, I'm 21 years old, I don't throw the word love around so carelessly like teenagers or my peers do now a days. I take it very seriously. So when I say I love her, I mean I love her, even if she were to quit talking to me, even if she hurt me so bad, even the distance doesnt really stand in comparison to what I feel for her. Because she makes me feel so overwhelmed, so happy, there are so many things I could say but she is one of the more amazing persons I have ever met and i'm extremely thankful. She makes me want to be a better person. Though we don't get to talk much now, she has a job, the time difference, my school, things I have to get done, when she hangs out with her friends, it doesn't really matter because as long as I get at least one message from her and I know she's alright, then i'm okay. We're not going out, we're...friends, we're....something.
There isn't a label, but by the end of the night, I call her mine because she is my sweetheart. I've never been in love before, so it has scared the hell out of me but even after a month, I can't wait to see what a year feels like. We've made plans, and I plan to go see her in march for a week while i'm out on spring break, and though I have no idea how i'm going to afford it, i'm determined to get there because I know the moment I see her, i'm going to wrap my arms around her tightly and cry. There are moments when I'm here at home or doing something and i'll randomly think of her and wish she was here. Like because I live out in the country, when it's cloudless you can see the stars so good and it's beautiful and there is a moment where i'll close my eyes and she was here with me just watching the stars in my arms even if it is cold as hell outside. Sometimes she'll call me while she's on break at work, sometimes she'll message me and just tell me she misses me. I can't explain how she makes me feel, but it has been a month a 4 days since I've met her and i've been thankful every day since then. This is the start of my own love story, hopefully it will continue to be as beautiful of an experience as it has started heart heart heart