It's been almost three years now... I feel that I've moved on.
But you still linger there, in the back of my mind.
I need to know why though... when I'm passed you
Or at least I like to think I am. But even when I'm happy
and nothing seems that it can go wrong, I'll end up randomly
one night out of the blue, just laying there dreaming of you.
Sure I've never seen you in person, but I still know who you are.
I've tried to move on... but I can't. No matter how hard I try to forget,
I can't control my dreams or how well I remember them.
I dream of you once in a while and I have no idea what triggers it.
I have a new man now. But because you were here first
He has the suffering of being compared to you.
Sure you don't come into the conversation all the time...
In fact, you hardly come into the conversation at all
but when you do, you break us both down... and that's just the memory of you.
Ever since that last day... when I went a bit mad,
The one where you said "f*ck it" and just walked out of my life,
I was left open... trying desperately to find a close.
I love you, but I hate you.
I miss you but I need to forget you.
I want to be friends, but I don't know what to say.
Maybe that's why I'm lingering on dreams and random thoughts of you...
I never got the closure I was aiming for before you walked out.
I don't know what I want...
I would like, though, the information and knowledge on why I'm dreaming of you.
I doubt it's because of the myth "You dream of someone
because they're missing you".
If that were the case, you'd be dreaming of me at least once every month.
I need to hear from you... I need to talk to you...
even if it isn't to become friends, and to just get closure.
You've done so much to wrong me... You stop talking to me
Hours on end, and reply as if you never even left.
Maybe I don't hate you.. Maybe I just hate the things you've done.
I need to figure out why I'm reminded of you when there's nothing to hold onto.
I need to figure out why you're staying forever a memory.
I need to figure out why I've such a corrupted imagination.
You know who you are. Talk to me if you ever read this... I'll be here waiting to be reminded of your presence. To be reminded of your existence. To be reminded of our existence. I need to know I'm not going insane.
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