Im not afraid of killing myself..
Im not afraid of death..
Im afraid I'll fail and have to deal with people after they know what I tried...
Or see the pity in their eyes and have guilt in mine.
Im afraid theyll hate me for feeling so dead already
For being hopeless and shattered, broken and needy..
Im afraid theyll hate me for having so many faces of me..
Because if you look and see, Im not two faced , im three faced.. and sometimes four..
in order to hide my pains I just keep making more
I lied.. Im afraid of killing myself.. Because suicide is like placing bets,
the next roll of the die could be your big win
Or you could go all in and lose it all and then regret not taking your chance before the fall..
Im afraid that after im gone, therell be someone who needs me,
A life i could change instead of me being greedy..
Im afraid people will remember what i did but im also afraid theyll forget..
No, Im not afraid of death,
but im afraid to place the wrong bet.