Well. My entire day was turned to s**t last night. My friends started leaving me, My girlfriend left me for her ex. After what I did for her. And the girl I want nothing more to be with again came back from a party a few months back pregnant. 2 things here, 1. I want to beat the ******** a** who drugged her up and ******** her. 2. She ******** killed it. She knew damn well she was pregnant, but she still took her regular dosage of 12 aspirin. Now she has a miscarriage and I'm stuck at the hospital waiting for it to end feeling like utter s**t. Everything in my world has come crashing down in the blink of an eye. I've picked up drinking to wash away the pain again.. My depression has come back in a heartbeat, everything that could go wrong went wrong last night. Today I'm sitting in the lobby waiting for the delivery of her child. All I can think is what if that child was mine...God why have you cast me out.. What have I done to deserve all of this..