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Within these pages, my thoughts and Dreams are scribed. ~winks~
Who I dream of and what I dream of... ~LMSAO~
The night air is very cold and bitter. It bites and freezes all that it surrounds. I sit here alone in the park, freezing, writing and thinking... This is but the copy of what I truly write. I thought and thought of him. A wonderful friend he is, a neighbor and dear to me now... but... he still isnt the one in my dreams holding me. Surely he hugs me in hopes that I might fall in love with him. This I am sure of... but How can you love a person your not IN love with. I adore him as a friend.. that is all. Last night, we went for a walk because I was feeling a bit down and sad. He cheered me with silly jokes and a silly snowball fight. XD He made me laugh when I started to cry. Desperate tears of a lonely pathetic woman. Hugging me tightly and brushing away my tears... I felt safe and am glad to have him in my life. Nearly brushing his lips to my own when I turned from him. The disappointment in his eyes and the resentment that seems to be growing.. I feel like I'm using him, but how am I? When I told him in the beginning that I want him as only a friend. I guess I knew our relationship would change. Last night, he wanted it to change... but in such a way that would sweep me from the ground I walk on. the thing is.. will I let him sweep me off my feet? Or will I continue in being only his friend?.. at the moment I feel weird and a bit off because. because.. it isnt him I love, or is it him I am falling for? oiy.. ~head/desk~ Dream.. what are you doing?

As always.. wondering what the hell it is I am doing?..


ll trouble ll
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