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i hate holidays. just another time to remind me that i have no one to hold close and love. had a dream a few days ago about my bad ex, and to spite my unyielding hatred and rage toward her very existence on planet earth and my only with is to have her suffer the rest of her life 4 what she did, i missed her a little. then i realized it wasnt her i missed. what i miss is having a girlfriend during christmas. sappy as it may be, its one of my dreams to just sit on a couch, lights dimmed with my arm around a girl that truly loves me with her head resting on my shoulder during the holidays. or to have a real gift 4 someone and see there eyes light up as they jump over to me and hug me as tight as there arms can hold me. idk, its just those little moments that when they happen u get lost in it and it feels like it could go on for your life and you would be happy for every second of it. i hate holidays, i cant wait till its over. these happy people make it so much worse.

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