- My mom looks so old now. Every time I see a picture of her it makes me realize how old she is and how long I’ve had weird feelings about her. I don't know how I feel anymore.
- I don’t want to go to China alone. Mom wants me to go over there during the last part of summer. I hope I can bring Marni. Actually, I have to bring her. I refuse to be abandoned there alone like I would have been in Vietnam.
- I don’t want to leave for the summer… I’ll miss Dillon. That and last time I spent a whole summer in another country, I had a lot of down time and sickness and all this sh*t with mom. I missed my friends and my life. I deserve to be with him.
- Why do I never feel well rested anymore? I sleep so much, but I never feel rested.
- I hate doing AP problems, they are so difficult to me. Especially when there is the television blasting so loud downstairs that I can’t hear myself one bit.
- I am so hungry that it hurts; why would dad go grocery shopping without me? There is nothing that I can consume. Why is he so foolish? Why does he only care about him and his needs?
- I really miss Dillon. I know I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I feel like more and more I am noticing couples at school. I deserve that. I wish he lived closer. He’s worth it though. He’s worth it.
- Every time I breathe in, my stomach gets a really sharp pain. Why did I have to start my period today? When I felt it start, I felt like throwing up and started shaking. And I told Josh, “I don’t very feel good. I mean. I don’t feel very good.” I couldn’t even really talk, nor could I make it to class without wanting to stop in the hallway to catch my breath.
- I can’t wait until the end of tomorrow. I’ll have time to sleep and time to talk to Dillon and time to do what I want. Until the Biltmore trip. And then I’ll spend Christmas with Marni… because I have no place to go.
- I skyped with Julie today. I love her. She makes me smile.
Sigh. I just don’t feel well right now.
At least my emotions are okay right now. c:
Purple Sky Painter
· Fri Dec 14, 2012 @ 04:02am · 0 Comments