I know I make people laugh... and make people happy.
You know, in the end, people end up ignoring me when I don't show off.
When I don't show off, I'm invisible.
Yes, I'll get called pretty, and that's about it...
Guys that have liked me, come too late... they say, "Atlanta, I use to like you a lot, and have a huge crush on you... but I was afraid you'd say no... you're really intimidating."
They say the prettier you are, the lonelier you are. Is that true? Well, I'm not really lonely, I just want a decent guy to come a long...

A lot of people think I'm all about silly stuff. When I am serious, people try to shoot me down. I mean, some people try to... I get a good bit of people who support my serious ideas... I don't know, I just think about things. They come to mind.

I've had people that I've had the most fun with, yeah, we'll text... but then as time goes on... I don't see them much, they stop talking to me...
It's like, I'm really boring to talk to... I'm more fun to hang out with. I don't know.. it gets awkward to talk to people after a while...
I have friends, I mean... I'm not a loner.

I don't know why I ******** feel sad all the time.
I'm not one of those suicidal people, because that doesn't solve anything, but your own demise... That's not even a thought.

I'm sad about random s**t. I think to myself, "Did I say this wrong? What did I say... Maybe I shouldn't have done that..."

I mean, I have friends to hang out with, and we do hang out, but it's not as much as I'd like to hang out.
We don't have out as much as I hoped...
My friends have cars... yeah.
People said they do look up to me.
People say they love me.
I've been called funny...
But, when I'm not funny... I'm not in sight.
I don't know. I have no idea what I want.

******** emo s**t, bro.
Damn it . Man. OMG. I can re read this and be like, "They ********. What is this?"

I don't want to b***h in front of people.
I'm just leaving this here just in case people find it.
If not, that's ok, just getting my s**t out in the open. Idk.
Gotta write it out, and what not. Stuff.
I suppose.

Some times I have this thought, "What if I just lay on my bed, and not get up... just lay here... all day."
A lot of things run though my mind.

You know, I sent texts to a lot of people today, people who say I'm their best friend.
Well, that's... one didn't reply.. and the other two didn't either.
Maybe it's because one is grounded.
One... talks to my brother more than me. I know damn well she has her phone on her.
Then again, I just sent a funny picture... and not an actual, "Hello."
My friend called me yesterday, so she doesn't ignore me, it's just, she doesn't receive my texts some times, and she is busy a lot... dealing with things.
Another, she texted me earlier, and so did the other, so I guess I'm not ignored.
I don't know. But the 3 that didn't reply... well, I guess they do some times... but I really want to be closer to them.
And more friends I talk to...

I plan to hang out with people, but, we never hang out, just plans...
They are just pulled to the side.
I need to put more effort into it.
Then again, friendship is two sided, and not one sided. I can't be the one to always contact people.
I have people who like me, you know, I should text them now.

Now I feel better now that I let all this out.
I want some ice cream now. OMG, my mom got birthday cake ice cream.