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is it some sick twisted joke that the universe is trying to play on me? the first time in a very long time i deside to trust someone uncondishonaly, they turn around and ruin what could otherwise be a great thing by constantly accuseing me of cheeting. now ive been going out with this girl for about 7 months and resently shes stoped comeing on and can not go a conversation without accuseing me of talking to another girl. now yes i have female friends but no i am not going to go and cheet especaly if im happy which i was till resently. this is y i have so much trouble with fath. every time i put my heart and trust up it is ether betrayed or ignored. now i try to be a good person. hek ever since i totaly messed over the only girl i ever felt so strongly for i tryed to trust beople more so at face value till what they say no longer seem resonable or true. go figure thou, this girl, nice as she can be, as much as she wants to be with me, she dosnt trust me worth squat and there isnt a thing i can say or do to convince her otherwise. if this keeps up im going to haveto dumpe her and she will be the first girl i really ever dumped. i just hate tyat it had to come to this point. i dont get girls, ever. a girl gets interested in me MAYBE once every 2 or 3 years, the rest friend zone me imediotly or are such stuck up female dogs that i can not tolerate them for any length of time. hek the only girls i truely like are the shy ones because they are usualy much better inside and trustworthy. but seeing as im 2 shy to speek to any girl and no girl is interested in a 1 legged guy that big and strong and scary but to nice and shy to be anywhere neer a bad boy. not to mention my habit of being agumentitive when people refuse to be reasonable or listen to me when i listen to them -_- i end up comeing off as very hostile. life sucks. if there is a god, i do hope he sees how much i try regardless of religion or beliefes.

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