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KeystoneShaneDVS's Journal
My thoughts, ideas, and personal rules I try to live by, plus a few other things.
This is basically an addition to my last entry and a few changes. Here's what I wrote, for those of you who didn't read it yet:

*sighs* Why do affairs of the heart have to be so difficult to deal with... Why is it so hard- ... It's like the Queen so goes, "Can... anybody... find me... somebody to, love..." Actually, I think I may have already found someone, but there are a few problems. If you think it's an age thing, it ain't. I guess the main problem is I'm afraid of the possibility of rejection... I don't want to push, yet I'm afraid if I don't do something, I may end up waiting too long. I love to make her laugh, and i love it when she makes ME laugh... We've only been friends for around a month and talking for a couple weeks, and I think she only thinks of me as a friend. I like her as a friend, but a little more though. She recently ended a relationship with a guy that really didn't love her, to the best of my knowledge, anyway... I don't want her to think I'm the same way, that's why I don't want to push... Maybe it's another case of my wanting something, or someone, rather, that I can't have... I don't know, I really just don't know... My heart aches at the possibility of her falling for someone else, but like I said, I don't want to push... I won't say her name, because she may read this and I don't want to scare her off. She means quite a bit to me. I value our friendship too much and don't want to loose that friendship. If anyone reading this has any advice, add it in a comment. If you want to know if it's you that I'm talking about, send me a private message, and i'll let you know (To that special lady I'm talking about, I'll answer if I can muster up the courage, lol.)

Well, since then, I've done some thinking. As far as the Queen song goes, instead of "Somebody to Love," it's more like "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," or maybe even the classic song "The Great Pretender." Also, I'm afraid that she may possibly be interested in somebody else, already. The guy's a friend of both of us, and she's known him longer than she's known me... Maybe I'm just in over my head, falling for her... If I'm lucky, it's just a crush and I'll get over it and her, and the sooner the better. Don't get me wrong. I still like her and want to be with her, but if she likes him more than me, I'll just have to get over her the best I possibly can. I will tell her as soon as possible, but not if they start going together before I tell her. I want her to be happy, no matter who she ends up with... I guess I'm sort of a hopeless romantic, especially when it comes to my own love life, with a little bit of emphasis on the hopeless part... There is someone special in this world for me, I just have to find her, whoever she may be... I just wish it wouldn't take so long, that's all...

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