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people seem to think doing everything alone is easy. but i cant function alone. i start to freek out if i haveto talk 2 new people or anything like that cuz before i even speek to a person i think about what to say like lies to a play then as i walk away i think about what i said and if it was worded wrong and over anilise it so hard that i get even worse. i ike haveing someone just with me to take my mind off of stuff lie that. for the longest time i had a gf for that but now the only gf i have is miles away and barly on to talk 2. i dont want to comlain to peole any more because no one want to isten to it. i want to say it isnt because they dont care but that is it, they dont want to isten cuz they dont care to, they have there own things. ive been holding me stuff together better but it dosnt change anything. hek i have a leg apoinment next week and no one to go with. not only will it be lonely but ill b there a good hour or 2 sitting alone in a waiting room to get my leg back to take a crouded buss home without even my mp3 layer to kee me focus and destracted. i even posted twice on my facebook asking if anyone could join me but i dont think anyone even saw or if they did, didnt care. its frusterateing being stuck alone and only being able 2 go anywhere or do anything if i feel seperated from the situation, the peole around me, and myself. like if i fel like im not me then im not really there.

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