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A Journey into my Mind
Originally I kept poetry in here, but over the years it grew into something more.
Dear Journal,
It has been a good while since I have written to you. However, I see us meeting more often in the near future with the holidays coming.

This year might be a little disappointing for self production. Due to my...lack of being able to work due to my stupid physical conditions- I still do not have a job. And the only possible job I might possibly get- I have to wait until AFTER the holidays to get. So, Christmas might be in.. February for me. I have to send two and hopefully three gifts by air. Everyone else who is family that is long distance, can wait until my next visit.
All of the gifts I am making are handmade. Which is a grand total of.. 18 to 20 people. And no, they are not all of one medium. I am using everything I have which kind of makes me dizzy.
The little segment above is probably the most I will complain though. I love making things. I love crafting and art and the feeling that comes when they open it and they smile and you can say more than "Yeah, I bought it." When your creation brings a smile to someone's face and you actually see them with it or see it when you visit- to an artist, that is magic! I find myself throwing away old gifts that where bought years ago all the time and I find myself keeping the things that where hand made.

Ugh, my head is spinning.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving as most people know and cooking food other than French desserts are not my strong points. So, all I have to offer are pretzels dipped in chocolate and vanilla. Yes, I dipped each pretzel one by one twice. Again, the fact that I made it makes me feel a little less guilty about not having an actual dish... and about it looking kind of crappy.

*cleaning chocolate out of hair and off of ceiling*

Thanksgiving is probably my least favorite holiday.. I am not a fan of eating or cooking or people for that matter. Especially since the only family I have ever had has been my Papa. I find it a bit strange to have such a huge crowed like what will be happening this year. I am visiting a family which has over 32 grandchildren. (I talk to the grandmother a good bit) and the family that I am closest to is a family of seven alone. And then for all of the grandchildren you have two parents. So, it is a grand total of over 40 in a two bedroom and one bathroom house. Very tiny. Many people. I do not know anyone. RUN.

After Thanksgiving, I am really looking forward to Christmas. I get to check up on my Papa and hear how he is doing in rehab. And I get to be his test. (Has mixed feelings about this). I am not really sure what to give him for Christmas, soooo I should probably get started on that soon...

I know I keep talking about all these things that are stressing me and causing problems, so I must have a way to not stress so much! And I do! And it is broken...
I play the piano. Er..keyboard. And the audio jack is stuck in the hole so the computer thinks that the headphones are in and now the volume is not working. : and the keyboard that is a less impressive one is...just not the same! There is no justice. Canon in D has lost the flow it once had. Scarborough Fair -the one who lived there? is gone. Even trying to play Twinkle Twinkle Little freaking Star is ...just wrong. And I am sure everyone will be so glad to hear my awesome (horrible) guitar skills.

This year will be interesting. In a scary kind of way.

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