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Here's a thought...
What's going through my mind?
If only
If only I had lived my life without these constraints of morality, right and wrong, legal or illegal. I wish I had lived a normal life with a little more ********. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so different from the rest of society. Maybe then people wouldn't see me as so different and incapable of interacting in ways that are seen as being fun... which I feel awkward participating in or even trying. I don't feel like I fit in with any of these people. I don't feel like any of them see me as anything other than a guy with a good heart, good intentions, an outcast that is suitable for a friend, and nothing more. The people I'm interested are never interested in me and placate me with a mixture of flirtatious gestures and stop signs. The people I'm not interested in pursue me. Most pursue me for things without meaning and simple fun without any investment. Some care genuinely, though they are the minority. In the end, I'm tired of feeling so different from the people I want to be around. I'm sick of being what I am. I wouldn't mind being what I am if it weren't for these distractions and reminders of just how much I can never be a part of theses peoples' lives.

User Comments: [1] [add]
YumiYumi Doku
Community Member
commentCommented on: Sun Nov 25, 2012 @ 10:03pm
I dont feel like you really care to hear what I have to say or even that whatever I say will help at all but Ill put it down anyway.

Being sick of what we are isnt a bad thing and in the end it can be the force that leads us to change. You are hard to know well but I feel I do know you past a general standpoint. And I know that you are resistant to change and to the things that the majority view as either good or bad.

So illegal and legal... ehhh.. Most things in life are not black and white even though people try to paint them that way. Most things in life are grey and we have to use reasoning based from our own personal experience, thus everyones view of things can never be the same. Its one of the qualities that set us aside from all other species and i think we should indulge in it. What Im saying drew is dont be afraid to experience things that are painted a certain color in your head. If you fall down just stand back up learn and fit another small piece to the giant puzzle of life.

Another example i thought of... Gay marriage is illegal so.. that means its wrong... right? Nah. But based on someone's limited experiences, it might be wrong to them. Others right. You see what i mean? Just because its painted a certain way doesnt mean its the right color we have to learn for ourselves. You just have to stop being afraid, the fear isnt a bad thing its there to protect you but you cant let it control you because if you do it just makes you that much less human and I think thats where you get lost. Dont mix politics in with life cause they are two totally different worlds. Dont be afraid either, I dont know what you feel the consequences of certain things are but I think you putting yourself through this is probably the worst sort there is.

Drew, things arent as bad as you think. No is telling you you have to go full force into some kind of culture or things you arent familiar with it takes time and tiny steps. If you dont like an experience after trying and dont feel validated just turn and go the other way until you are ready again.

anyway hope nothing from this offends you just saying what my little mind knows :B

love you

User Comments: [1] [add]
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