Don't you disrespect me, Little Girl!
Don't you derogate or deride!
You're in MY world now, not your world
'Cuz I have friends on Homestuck's side...

(That's sarcasm, darlin', just something we have in Alternia, a little joke, no worries.)

Sit down in my res'block. Put your 'pan at ease.
If you relax, it'll enable me to do...anything I please
I'll get you to read act 1
Maybe act 2 or 3
But you will get to Hivebent, for sure
(You have a sense of humor, right?)
Make your wildest dreams come true

I got redbloods
I got bluebloods
I got cherubs, blow your mind!
And you'll have friends on the Homestuck side...

The trolls! The trolls! The trolls will tell-
The past, the present and the future as well!
The trolls...the trolls! You'll have three...
Find out all the trolls and learn your patron with me!

Now you my dear are a spider, blue!
You've got seven eyes, and an eighth one,too!
(It's alright, I'm a midblood myself!)
You love to push
Tavros down the stairs
You are a nasty thief of light who hates her bad luck!

(You go to god tier early, you see. Hussie wants to propose to you but you want either John or Tavros instead...)

You want the heir, want the heir, want the heir of breath!
'Cuz when it comes to Nic Cage, ooh baby, he's the best!

On you, little brat, Don't wanna waste much time,
You're far too young for this.
So much cussing, so much bleeding, so much fighting, too much mussin'.
And the quadrants
You won't at all understand, but...
If you want to know, your patron is
A naughty little Maryam who can't keep in her bizz.

Come on, loves. Read it now...won't you please...earn Hussie's love?
Are you ready?
Are you reaaaady?

Infestation central!

Infectation central!!

Infestication central!!!

Can you feel it?!??!

You've sold it, you've sold it, you've sold it, alright!
I hope you're satisfied...
And if you're not, don't blame me....
You can blame Homestuck...
Or Andrew.....Hu....Ssieeeeee!!!