[A conversation with myself]

You are really self centred person. It actually disgusts me how self absorbed you are. You only cares about your own selfish interests, and don't really give a ******** about anything else :/

I don't want to only care about myself - I want to care about everyone else around me. But I hardly makes an effort to do anything.
She's shalloaw, fake, indifferent.
She'd like to be able to care, but she has forgotten how.

Building walls is no excuse. So what if s**t's happened before, that shouldn't stop you from caring. Shouldn't stop you from being able to put yourself in a position of vulnerability. If you really cared, it wouldn't matter. But you don't. You don't care. You're selfish, and self absorbed. This isn't good enough.
You need to get your priorities right.