My brother finally wished me a Happy Birthday. It actually made me very happy when he did and he said, to make up for the lateness, offered me a puppy that he had gotten for his children that his wife had decided she suddenly didn't want to deal with. The puppy is a black lab-mix and very cute and if I can't have it, then it has to go back to the shelter which is, so sadly, not a no-kill one.

Guys, I want the puppy. If you're a pet owner, you know how that feels. I don't want the puppy to be put down and I really am hating my sister-in-law for making my brother chose, even if my brother and I have a strained relationship at best.

But I can't have the puppy.

I live with my grandfather at this point in time and he says we already have too many pets (we have three cats and a standard poodle- which my mom spoiled rotten and then complains that she gets away with too much) then he went on to say, jokingly, that we could have the dog if I moved out so my mom looked at me and told me to get out and go live with my friend.
She said it so easily that it reminded me of when I was little and she told my brother and me that she loved her ******** cat more than her own children. I loved her cat too but come on. If she'd rather have been a crazy cat lady, then she shouldn't have had children.

I know it was just a joke, you guys; but it still hurt. A lot. A lot more than I feel comfortable admitting. Not just because it was a reminder of how little my mom cares but also because that puppy would have been my birthday gift and she was going to do everything she could to get it then not let me have it. She even told my grandfather that the puppy was for her...

Is it a bad thing that I think Oscar Wilde spoke the truth when he said, "Children start by loving their parents but after awhile, they begin to judge them. Rarely- if ever- do they forgive them."?

My family's dynamic sucks, people; and no one can figure out why I don't want children. Ever.