Today I set myself free. I am seriously wondering if I am able to continue. I've not let myself feel anything for the longest time. Then this happens. Of all the arguments and what not, I wasnt the cause of all of them. Contrary to what one might tell others about myself. Like.. IGAF. XD It was always about something dumb the other did, but no that too is denied. I am fine. Was fine before and I will be again. Nothing any man does to me will have a lasting.. effect on me. Time takes its toll and already I am healing.
To have the one you hold highest to tell you jokingly to "******** off", and to tell you he loves another person. How in the world do you trust the person after. Then to have him lie about certain things, only to find out later as he appologizingly admits to lying. Or when I recieved gifts, small and cute from a friend. He goes overboard. When another gave him an expensive gift as well. How do you trust still. Later finding out that he lies about certain things to try and make one the instigator... Or when he doesnt talk at all. How do we make it work when he hides things and how do we make it work when there is no trust..
I will admit that I am in pain right now, but the mistrust that he knowingly kept there and fed little by little turned what we had into poison. I am not going to die for another persons emotionally unstable state. And I am not going to bother with poison hereafter. He tells people I was a certain way.. He is exactly the same. Hes just better at hiding it.
I told him I was done arguing and fighting; I was tired of it. So I said "I'm done. We're through. Take care of yourself. Buh bye." That was the end of it. well.. til he attacked me on fb telling me to ******** off. mmmhm oh well.
Sooo I remain as always, Star. A bit stubborn, fiery and Dreamy. Over and out...
I gave my heart to the jerk and now I feel nothing.
ll trouble ll
· Tue Oct 09, 2012 @ 04:01am · 1 Comments