One year down and four to go.

Getting out of the trend of not trying is weird.. and stressful to me because I haven't ever had to study really or pace myself or map out what I am going to do.

So stressed and meh about the upcoming semester. I guess I will accept that I am an over-attached girlfriend because can't really see my boyfriend till tomorrow, which made me upset, along with other things, so now I am sitting alone in my room, hugging Telli, listening to the same song on repeat (Dancing in the Dark) and knitting in my sad sadness with no one to talk to..

Okay, I can only talk to Kai and Ani, but Ani has been busy so I don't want to bother her and I don't feel like talking to Kai. I rather wallow in my sadness all by myself because I don't want people to be down because of me and my moods that I can't do anything about.

In terms of overbearing, that whole deal where we can't talk to people and our deals and stuff? It can actually cause problems and issues with our relationship. Yesterday, I spoke to 2 people without actually getting an 'okay' from Kai and he was not very happy about it and today... yeah, part of the reason why I am not happy today..

Looks like a lot of my classes require a lot of reading and effort, and research. Classes I am taking this year, physics 2 with calc + lab, statics, design and manufacturing lab, calc 2 *because I got a C- >_>* and I think that is about it actually.

I guess now I will go on and on about my boy problems because meh.

Yeah, Kai is a great guy and awesome, but he makes me feel slightly inferior and, many times, I can't help it. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to cheer him up or really do anything. I love him, so I guess that is why I am so clingy, because I never wanna get it go because it is so good. But many times, it just feels like it is just a physical relationship, like that's all we do. I don't even know anymore. *teary-eyed* I just don't know =/