Nothing has much changed. I've been losing weight well enough during April but I've only lost 2 pounds since May began. I've been running like crazy though.
An old friend has popped up on my radar. He recently left his girl because he felt he couldn't provide for her or at least that's what he said. I think it's because once you're in a pit, you want to know how bad you can make yourself feel. I'm sure he is depressed. He's talking every day to me now and it's interfering with my control over my diet. I don't understand why being friends with anyone takes a toll. For some reason I hate him because he said that he knows he's able to get any girl that he wants. Needless to say, he'll probably fade back in a week or so because that's how he operates.
I think I've finally become sad for the fact that things didn't work out during the first semester. I remembered a bunch more about my ex than i did at any previous part of the year. I won't lie and say that I never wanted him to say that he should have been giving more than he did. I won't lie and say that I never felt like hugging him after he would've made that declaration. Right when the best part of the daydream is supposed to occur though, I remember that he really isn't anywhere close to being like that and I'm taken back to reality. Because I know that about him, I also know that I did the right thing.
I can think of a handful of other things I can talk about that are more optimistic but these in particular i need to file away.
There still doesn't seem to be a purpose to life but there are small goals that I go by. it's better than nothing and enough for many people. i still don't know if it's enough for me.
Le Visage Inconnu
· Wed May 23, 2012 @ 04:52am · 0 Comments